MY LIFE AS I PRAISE GOD

In His hands.

2010-01-22T17:34:00.000-08:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding.

Sometimes my mind will race, my emotions will take on a life of their own and I feel like I am completely out of control. What this is, though, is my trying to be in control. When I take the rein (or reign...they both fit here) away from Him and try to figure it out on my own. I'm on a sheet of ice going a hundred miles an hour without Him...I can't stop, I can't direct my course, I'm out of control.

It's human to want to be in control. I'm human...but I'm also comprised of His Holy Spirit. There is a battle constantly going on for who I am, what I am and who I will be; and that...I am in control of. I choose, freely, to relinquish control...because frankly, I'm not good at it. My ego isn't so big as to say 'I can do it on my own'. My pride isn't so enormous that I mind sitting in the passenger seat when God is driving. He can drive, I'll happily sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride knowing without a doubt that He knows the road. I'll roll down my window, feel the air on my face and breathe deeply. My soul will rest and enjoy the journey. When I allow it, of course, because choosing to be the passenger instead of the driver in my life is about the only thing I can control.

Father, the only thing that I'm sure of in this life is that I have no control. The world may humor me, lure me in by teasing me with worldly pleasures, but they are fleeting and I shame myself when I'm taken in. My todays, my tomorrows and my eternity is safe only in Your hands. And, in Your hands is where I choose to stay.
In the name of Your Son and my Savior, Christ Jesus, Amen.

Thankful.

2010-01-10T16:11:00.000-08:00

The thing about giving is that if it's not done without any strings, without any obligations, even without the need to be thanked for the gift given, it's not giving...it's bargaining. May be bargaining for someone's love, for appreciation...for a future gift in return, but a true gift is something given without any expectation to be repaid or to even be thanked. Yet, we all know who is thankful for what we've given them, and who is not. It's only human nature to want to be appreciated. We remember who has called to say thank you, who has written a thank you note and who hasn't. After not being thanked several times, we may reconsider what we give to those who are not appreciative.

Thankfully, it may be human nature, but it's not our Father's nature. I was recently thinking about how much I'm thankful for, and I realized that the things I list when thanking Him must only be a drop in the bucket (an enormous bucket) of all the things He's actually done for me. I stopped to think about how many, many, blessings I've received and taken for granted, having never stopped to say "Thank You, Father, Thank you!" How many times He's helped me, lifted me up, kept me from harm, and all without my having been aware. If I were to spend the rest of my life on my knees giving thanks, it wouldn't be enough.

I'm reminded of the story of the 10 lepers Christ healed and only one took the time to thank Him. Did Jesus not know that the other nine would fail to thank Him? That's not possible, He knows everything. He knew, and yet He healed them all. What was the difference between the nine that walked on and the one that turned back to honor Jesus and praise Him for his healing? A thankful heart.

Father, for the blessings I'm aware of and those I'm not, I thank You. For loving me even when I couldn't love myself, thank You. For the day that I will run into Your open arms, thank You. Father, if I have nothing else, I pray I will always have a thankful heart. Amen.

I never want...

2009-05-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

I never want the voice in my head to be louder than God's voice. I never want my desire to be a priority over God's desire for me. I never want my wants to be more important to me than what God wants for me. I never want the joy of this world to overshadow the joy of His.

Unlocking Doors

2008-12-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

There is a show on t.v. called 'My Own Worst Enemy'. Hear it's not doing so well, but that's beside the point. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Sometimes we are the one who stands in our way the most, the person who keeps our blessing from coming to us. Sometimes we surround ourselves with an invisible shield made out of fear or anger while we curl up in a fetal position with the blankets pulled over our head and our door locked and then we wonder why God isn't blessing us, why isn't He getting us out of our trials, why He isn't sending someone to us that can help us.

Being a parent, I relate to the way I am God's child through the relationship I have with my own kids. Many times over the years when one of my boys have gotten angry or their feelings hurt, they'd withdraw physically, emotionally and mentally. As a parent I want to put my arms around them and hold them till whatever it is has passed, but as a child they want to be left alone, to live in that anger or hurt for a bit. Sometimes when they were older I'd try to go into their room to console them and find the door locked and they'd ask me to just let them have some time to themselves. This is the same thing we do to God. God always wants to console us, to help us get through whatever is hurting us and He can help in a way that every parent wishes they could, but we lock Him out. We've locked our spiritual door and we're reveling in our hurt and our anger. Sooner or later we exhaust ourselves and we finally open that door to Him and then...we wonder why we waited so long when He'd been standing there knocking all that time.

Lord, I'm opening my door to you. Come in, You are welcome into my heart, my life...help Yourself with all things personal. I give all things that concern my family and myself to You, I trust You to take care of them, Your shoulders are so much broader than mine, and being a parent, I understand the desire to comfort and care for me. I am so blessed that You love me, that you desire for my needs to be met and for my heart to be joyful. Anything else brings dishonor to You. I pray that Your Holy Spirit would convict me when I'm curled up in my fetal position with my door locked and refusing Your help...Your love...Your joy. I know that is not the life You desire for me.
Bless You Lord, with all that is within me, bless Your holy name.

Lessons of Trust

2008-12-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

I think I got out of the habit of writing here when I started my praise journal at home. Sad. I'm struggling through things that I'm sure I'll look back at a later date and see how God carried me the entire way, but right now, I feel painfully alone. I'm thankful that I'd started this blog because reading some of my own words has reminded me of what God has already gotten me through.

I've honestly had God do amazing things in my life. Looking back I can't believe all the doors He opened, the doors He thankfully closed, the things He has forgiven and the blessings He has given me. Amazing. And yet, when the walls are crumbling down around us, it's hard to remember that the outcome isn't up to us. Well, it is up to us if we carry the burden; however it's His when we give it to Him.

Father, I give this burden to You. I give it to You and I trust You with it. Forgive me when I've tried to carry my burdens on my own when Christ suffered and died to carry them for me. I love You, I trust You and I praise You for all You've done and for what You are yet to do.
Forgive me for my lack of faith, for my 'now' vision and cheating You out of blessing me.
I love You. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

God the Father

2007-06-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

Casey and I dined out today for Father's Day. We celebrated the love we have for our Father and the love He has for us. When all our fathers have left us, whether it be they passed on or moved out, there is still THE FATHER that loves us beyond our understanding. Today we celebrated the ultimate Father on Father's Day. We shared remembrances of my father and of Casey's paternal grandfather. We shared memories of my dad, Casey's 'Pop', taking his teeth out at the table at The Cracker Barrel one Thanksgiving, but we also remembered his teaching Casey and his brother how to fish, hit a baseball and always calling me 'Tex' after I'd moved to Texas from Indiana. We remembered how his paternal grandfather, 'Papa', loved to play Skip-Bo, generously gave neck rubs and always wore button down shirts. Then we shared the ways our Heavenly Father has blessed us both in so many, many ways...and how great it is that he and I both can share a Father.

Many do not have a father to celebrate Father's Day with, not one in the worldly sense, and today, that was okay for my son and I. We rejoiced in the true Father of us all. We celebrated this day, not only His love for us, but our love for Him.

Happy Father's Day.

All God's Children

2007-06-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

This world breaks my heart. The hurt that we direct towards one another honestly grieves me. I don't say that lightly. IT GRIEVES ME.

Whether or not someone, anyone, agrees with us has nothing to do with how we are to treat them. Not if we live in God's word. To love one another was not a suggestion, but a commandment. Upon the cross, beaten and flesh torn from His body, He still loved those who had done this to Him. It was for them that He went through it all, and it was for them He died. Not that first time did He raise a hand against them, not once did He degrade them. He spoke His Father's word to them, He shared the Truth with them, and out of love He died for them.

Often times we, as believers, remind me of siblings that fight, hurt each other and call each other names out of momentary anger, rage and childish behavior. I think of my own children when they were younger (who am I kidding, even as teens they still have their moments) when they battle each other, how it disturbs me. How much more it must grieve our heavenly Father when we go up against one another, and to make matters worse, we do it in His name.

Do I believe that we are to turn our heads when there is wrong being done? No. Do I believe that we turn a blind eye when one of our brother or sisters in Christ are on a dangerous path? No. I'd not watch my sister walk in front of a bus without warning her. But if my sister were so use to hearing me yell at her, when I yelled at her to save her, she'd not hear me. It's when she is use to hearing a loving voice, that when my voice is raised and unsettling that she pays notice to my warning. Instruct, warn, even rebuke in love. If we live our life in God's Word, we will do all things in love. Show the same grace to others that God has shown you.

Short story. Many years ago, when I'd just became a Christian and delivered from a 13 year addiction, God told me to move from Indianapolis, Indiana to Dallas, Texas. Not like moving across the street, and I didn't want to do it. After several months of God dealing with me, and my knowing I was out of His will, I took a vacation to Dallas with a friend to 'test the water'. I was offered a job in Dallas, and knew that it wasn't a coincidence...but it was so hot and the traffic was a nightmare. I turned the job down and went back to Indiana. I had two strangers I'd never met before, individually at different times, and ever so kindly, approach me and told me that God had told them to tell me I was not in His will, that He had a plan for me and I needed to be obedient. I sold or gave away every single thing I owned except for a lamp, a pillow and an outdoor lounger, put them in my little Subaru with my dog and two cats and headed to Dallas. I hired an apartment locater service and had an efficiency waiting for me. When I got to Dallas I had $13.00 left in my pocket. I didn't know anyone. I found a job waiting tables the next day and since I was experienced at it, I was making tips that first day. Good tips. Within a month I was enrolled in a Bible College and within another two months I met (at the Bible College) and married my husband. We were married 22 years and have two of the most incredibly precious teenage sons.
If those strangers had not been faithful and confronted me, rebuked me in love, I'd not have left my comfort zone in Indiana and committed myself to being faithful to what I knew was true. It took those strangers to get me back on that narrow road. We are here to lift up one another.
I encourage you all, in HIS love, to love one another and treat one another with loving ways.

God bless you and may you all be sensitive to the leading and guiding of His Holy Spirit.

Easter...to me

2007-04-08T10:06:00.001-07:00

Easter has turned into something sweet, soft and fuzzy, and looking pretty for Church. Those things are great, bearing in mind what Easter truly is. It was a cruel, painful and heartbreaking three days...and above all, it was and is LOVE. His love for us.

If I could drive one thing home to anyone, it would be that Christ did not come to save the righteous, but the sinner. Thank God, that means He came for me...and for you. To celebrate His resurrection this Easter, you must also celebrate His brutal death. To forget what He went through would diminish His resurrection.

With all of that said, I can not apologize for the graphic reality in this video. I hope it will touch you. May God bless your Easter with the understanding of the true gift you have been given.

Each One Matters

2007-04-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Every realationship with God is personal. No two people have the same relationship with the Father, each is based on the individual. Mine is different than yours. I wouldn't want your relationsip, I wouldn't want Billy Graham's relationship, I want my own. My relationship with God is growing. It's forever changing. It's the ONE thing in this world that is mine and mine alone.

Years ago, when I first came to know Him, I was a baby in Christ. I knew nothing, only that I needed Him. Thank God that I knew that much. I'm as stubborn as they come, but I knew that my way wasn't working and that I needed more than I'd been able to give myself to continue to live. I surrendered, which, honestly, was a relief. I'd been trying every road possible and each had led me to a more destructive life than I'd had the day before. When I gave my all, I got His all. What a great deal that was!

I'm a big (huge) fan of Mark Driscoll, T.D. Jakes and my own pastor, Ed Young, Jr. I learn so much from these men. However, I don't want their relationships with God, I want my own. I grow through these men, but I'm not these men. I'm Kathi, loving God and enjoying my journey with Him every step of the way. What I know today is more than I knew yesterday, but not as much as I'll know and understand tomorrow.

Growth is a painful process. The term 'growing pains' is a very real and truthful one. I go through the 'growing pains' of growing and maturing in Christ every single day. I will until the day I leave this life. Although I give thanks for His many blessings, I also get angry and ask why, and sometimes my heart breaks from lack of understanding and I weep, literally, weep for others and sometimes myself, too. Still, I'm a quick study and I learn from experience...mine and others. I'm only human, and I have all the emotions and weaknesses that entails. If there is anyone in all the universe that understands me, it's my Father. My Creator. My God. Even though he sees my actions, my failures (and my occasional accomplishment) and all my downfalls, He also sees my heart. He hears my prayers, He feels my tears, and He feels my pain. He is a Father. He feels my joy and my pain. Being my Creator, He also knows my heart. I'm not Billy Graham, but He loves me just as much and my walk is just as important to Him. He looks as forward to my coming home as He does all His children. He doesn't want me to be anyone but myself. As I grow, I'll stumble and reach for His hand, just as my children once reached for mine. As I grow, become more steady on my feet, He'll smile at my accomplishments just as I smile at my own kids'. When I fall short of a goal, when I ache from trying, when I need time to heal, He'll understand and He'll be there to pat my back, stroke my head and administer my spiritual first aid, just as any parent would do. All of this builds my relationship with my Father, just as all the years with my boys have developed our relationship. Each one different. Each one unique. Each one special.

Aaron Shust ~ My Savior My God

2007-03-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

The Difference Between Thinking and Doing

2007-03-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

How many times must I be told something before it takes hold in me? Apparently, the count is innumerable. But just as apparently, God is patient with me, and to Him, I am worth the wait.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was frustrated and I took that frustration to church with me. I wish I could say that I'm one of those people who can put thoughts on hold, those who can pick and choose what flows through their mind, but I'm not. Something happened on this particular Sunday morning that upset me and I was angered. I realized it, though, and asked God for forgiveness and forgave the individual the anger was directed at. On the way to church I would recall what had happened, and I'd get angry, recognize it, and ask God for forgiveness and I'd forgive...again. This happened countless times on the way to church, in church, during praise and worship... It happened so many times that I was feeling guilty for harboring this anger and for how many times I was asking for forgiveness. It was like a vicious cycle. I'd think of what had happened, I'd get angry. I'd realize my anger and ask God for forgiveness and I'd forgive the person who'd wronged me...then my mind would return to the act that had angered me and it would start all over again. The more it happened, the more guilty I felt. Plus, it was robbing me of my favorite time of the week, the time I usually get lost in praise and worship...and of my joy.

Sometime during the week, I read Matthew 18. Peter asked Jesus how often someone should be able to sin against him and he still forgive them. Jesus was very clear on this...we're to forgive 10 times however many times we believe we should forgive. Matthew 18:21-35 tells us the story of a servant who owed his master a large sum of money, and the master was going to sell not only the man, but his family and all belongings to regain this debt his servant owed. Only, the servant begged forgiveness of his debt, and the master was moved with compassion and showing mercy, forgave his servant his debt. In turn, though, the servant was owed a small fraction of what he'd been forgiven, by a fellowservant and he physically threatened this fellowservant. When his fellowservant begged for time to repay, the servant refused to forgive him and had him thrown into prison. The master, when he heard of what the servant he'd shown mercy had done, was disturbed and called his servant to him, saying: 'O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me; shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?' The master then had his servant delivered to the tormentors (K.J.'s, the Living Bible says the master sent him to the torture chamber) until he had repaid his debt.

I tell you all of this to get to the very last verse; "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses". The English Standard version puts it this way: "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart".

Forgive from the HEART.

I've been emotionally forgiving. Forgiving with my mind, but not with my heart.

Here is what came to my mind: I believe I've been forgiven and take great comfort in it. I'm not about to start sugar coating my past; I was a thief, adulterer, liar, and the list goes on. The Word tells us that when God forgives us our sins He remembers them NO MORE. What if He did remember them...and every time He remembered them, we faced His wrath again and again. What if at the time of our death, our sins came to His mind, and He sent us to the torture chamber?

He doesn't forgive emotionally, because emotional is the result of the moment. He forgives us out of Love, because Love is eternal. It's a done deal. Regardless of the moment, of the circumstance, of the occasional disappointment, He loves us. It's a heart thing. Not mental, not emotional, but a Love thing. When I continue to get angry over the same thing again and again, apparently I've not forgiven it. I've not had His compassion, and therefore I can't show His mercy. This isn't about the person who has wronged me, the wrong here is within me. ME.

We're told that what we freely receive to freely give. I've received that forgiveness freely, I didn't pay for it, and yet I'm not freely giving it. I have no difficulty freely giving clothes, food or money. Why is it so difficult to freely give forgiveness?

Do I want to be given over to my tormentors? No, trust me I don't. But that's what the Word says will happen if I do not forgive, FROM MY HEART, EVERY ONE OF MY BROTHERS THEIR TRESPASSES.

Pray on this, my friends. It doesn't say to befriend them, to dine with them or to even make an occasional call to see how they're doing. But it does say to forgive them from your heart.

Father,
I praise Your Holy name, I thank You for Your forgiveness of my wrongs and for loving me. I am so thankful that You do not remember my sins, but once forgotten they remain forgotten. I ask You, Father, to help me grow in this kind of Love, that I, too, can forgive completely without remembering it again and again. I accept the Love You have given me in the form of Jesus Christ. That Love lives within me, therefore I know I am capable of forever forgiveness. I thank You for the conviction of Your Holy Spirit. I ask You to forgive me of my sin of not freely giving what I have so freely received, complete forgiveness. There is a part of me that wants someone to earn their forgiveness, and yet I could never have earned mine. Help me, Father, to cast that part of me out and to replace it completely and totally with Your Word, Your Love and Your forgiveness.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Born Again

2007-02-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

I became a born again Christian at the age of 26. Born again is a term that gives some people reason to pause, not really understanding. I hear a lot of people making fun of the term, as if it means radical. Maybe, I suppose I could be considered radical by some. I've been radical over many things...being a responsible parent, neutering your pets...things like that. I was never a Christian until the day I became born again, so I don't really know what life as a Christian without being born again is.
Here are the things I do know about 'born again'. It means exactly what it states, being born again. Nothing really confusing there. The question in the Bible asks how can you be born again, is it by climbing back into your mothers womb and being born a second time? That would be confusing, if that's what it meant, yes? But nope, that's not it at all. Being born again is realizing that your life without Christ was full of sin, regardless of how 'good' of a person you were, it was self serving, self centered and self ruled. When we ask Christ into our hearts and give our life over to Him, we have to bury the old self. The old self has to be put down and buried, and the person we are becomes new in Christ. We, the old self is reborn into a new being and all things become new. Our reasons for life, our reasoning period is centered around Christ. He becomes the ultimate decision maker in our life, the CEO of all that we are. We can not become new in Christ and remain the old person. Thus, the term, born again.

It was easy for me to give up all that I was. I was miserable and living a life that was killing me, only I had no reason to change because it was all that I'd ever known and it was a matter of habit...and addiction to my lifestyle. Putting down the 'old man' and becoming new again in Christ was the most amazing event in my life. All things became new. My mindset was reborn, my purpose for living was reborn, my desire to live was reborn. I became a new person in Jesus Christ, and when I invited Him into my being, into my life, into my the very core of my existence, I gladly buried the person that I had been for 26 years and was born again as a follower of Jesus Christ.

The change in me was immediate. I saw things clearer, I could think clearer, there was a reason to get out of bed and a reason to live and be a witness of what had happened to me. I was completely reborn. I took none of the old self with me, and I've never missed what I left behind.

I am so thankful for God's mercy and for His grace that covered me for the first 26 years of my life, and waited for me with a patience that only God the Father could have. I am so thankful for the One that went before me, and made a way for me.

You Love...You Give

2007-01-04T04:53:00.000-08:00

John 3:16 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)
Public Domain
16 ~ For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

John 3:16 (Amplified Bible)
Amplified Bible (AMP)
Copyright Â© 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation
16 ~ For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.

I love this passage, of course it's our foundation, but that's not the only reason. It reminds me how much I'm loved. Regardless of what version of the Bible you look it up in, it's going to start out "For God so loved the world (that's me, even when I was at my most unlovable) that He gave. He gave what he treasured for me.

I can't imagine anything worth giving one of my children over to, to suffer as He gave His Son, but I was worth that much to Him. And lest we forget, His Son, at any time, could have called upon legions of angels to His aid, but He, also, chose to give. He gave His life, for me. The common thread being that LOVE GIVES. Regardless of the cost, LOVE GIVES.

God created us in His image. I want to see that image when I look in my mirror, and that image LOVES and it GIVES.

John 3:16...no matter what translation you use, LOVE GAVE.

He Calls Me His

2006-12-20T05:13:00.000-08:00

We were singing a song in church this past Sunday, 'He Calls Me Friend'. I hear it on the radio all the time, and it's a beautiful song, yet, and I don't know why, I can't sing the right words to it. I feel...disrespectful. It may be scriptural, I don't know, I've never looked it up. It goes, "I am a friend of God, (repeat 3 times), He calls me friend". But every time we sing it at church, each time I hear it on the radio, I sing it "I am a child of God ,(3 times) He calls me His"...and every time it gives me chills. It never ceases to amaze me that it is completely and without a doubt, true. I, little ole' me, silly, trippin over my feet as well as my tongue at times, me. He, the Creator of all things, Love Itself, calls me His child. He claims me, He loves me, He calls me His!
I'm reminded of my kid's friends that I've known since my kids were in kindergarten. Some of these kids I've known for over 10 years now. I've seen them go through many, many things. Some things I've cried in pride over, some things I've cried in heartache from. One of Charlie's friends from childhood was in a knife fight about 3 years ago and a few years later he attacked a police officer. I've watched this child grow up, I know where he's came from and understand what he's had to live through. Though Charlie and he are still friends, they're not close in the sense that they hang together anymore. Every time I see this young man he gives me a hard hug and I tell him I love him. Charlie and I do still love this young man, we always will. It's a reminder of how though we're still in this world, we are not of it. I can not turn my back on this young man because I still see that sweet little boy's smile light his face, I still see the innocence in his eyes that I once knew a long time ago. As much as I love this young man, and I'd consider him mine if someone were to come against him and it were within my power to save him...he isn't mine. I know for a fact that the pain I felt when I heard he'd been stabbed wouldn't have compared to what I'd have felt if I'd been told Charlie had been stabbed. The disappointment that broke my heart when I heard he'd attacked a police officer would have paled in comparison to what I'd felt if it'd been one of my own children involved.

How much more the Father feels for us because He does calls us HIS. We ARE His children. He sees and suffers what we face, what we struggle through, as well as rejoices our triumphs, what we over come and what we make Him proud of because we are His.

Friend? Please...I'm His child. He calls me His.

Trust Issues

2006-12-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

I have many things going on in my life right now. My husband left us 5 months ago. This is our first Christmas without him and his family. We went from having a large extended family to it being the three of us, my two boys and myself. I haven't found a full time job yet and our finances, well...my checking account is filled with more faith than money. And, of course, there's Christmas and my children...a combination that along with my checking account could add up to a lot of stress and anxiety.
Last night I took a short walk outside. I was feeling stressed. Sometimes you may be under attack without any signs of being physically wounded, but being spiritually wounded is harder to bare. As I walked, and I considered my attacks, I looked towards the heavens and felt peace begin to over take me. How small I am. Still, though small, I still exist, and as I took my eyes from the heavens back to my world, words rang through me loud and clear...TRUST ME. Trust Him. I trust Him with my death, how in the world could I not trust Him with my life?? I do.
God has been since the beginning of time. He created all that is. Could my life be too much for Him? No. My life fits into the grand scheme of all His plans. Everything I go through is for a purpose. The way I handle it is up to me, the battle, however, is His. My life opens a door for many, just as many before me created a way for me. My life will be an example. It is up to me whether it will be a good or a bad one.
I can think of many ways I have used my life as an example of what not to do for my children...the drugs, the alcohol I did years ago...I'm able to tell my children what I allowed those things to rob me of; friends, education, even family. Now, I want to show by example what God, and my faith in Him, can achieve, when I allow it. TRUST HIM. By example, it's the best thing in all my life that I can teach my children. TRUST HIM.

Father,
We are not born with trust issues, we learn them. Help me, Lord, to trust You with all that I am, with all that I have, and with all that I will ever be. I give to You my heart, my children, my finances, and my trust. You, alone, do I trust. I love You, Father.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

A Force To Reckon With

2006-11-19T10:30:00.000-08:00

There is a false feeling of insecurity that easily comes upon us. Depending upon our situation, and granted, each ones is different, sometimes what is directly in front of us is hard to see around. The rent that is due, the child that is sick, the car that needs repair, the people we love turning against us...everyone has their own battle.

The reason it is a false feeling is because in truth, to those of us who are believers, those of us who have not only accepted Christ as our savior but have invited Him into our hearts, our home and our life, we are never facing these battles alone. Never. Because Christ lives within us, He faces each and every battle that we face. Another encouraging little tidbit that we may sometimes forget, Christ doesn't go anywhere alone. Nope. He's always accompanied by God, the Father, and by the Holy Spirit, and because He is...so are we.

You can choose to go through things alone, and some may enjoy the pity party for awhile because, let's face it, we all grovel in a pity party now and then, whether it be private or public. But pity parties will not get us anywhere, they won't aid us or further us in what we need to get done. Attending someone else's pity party will not help them either, but praying for them and sharing the Truth with them will.

When we choose to acknowledge Christ within us and understand, even a fraction, of what that means, we must stand (or kneel) in awe of all that amazing power that stands with us in all we face. No weapon formed against us shall prosper. What weapon can defeat not only me, but God, the author of all creation, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit? None. How can I be worried, how can I doubt the outcome, how can I not trust that I shall be righteously victorious when I not only stand, but live, breathe and belong in the midst of the Holy Trinity?

As I was standing in praise this morning at church, my heart felt heavy with a few of the battles I'm going through right now. This honestly is not the norm for me, praising God is, without fail, how I renew my mind and refresh my spirit. It's where I learned that there are actual tears of joy. But as I stood this morning, my heart wasn't praising. It was then that I felt a warmth come over me, and a voice I've come to know personally telling me clearly "I, whom you praise, live within you. All things that come against you come against me." I stopped, dropped my head and began to cry. How can I ever forget that I never battle anything alone when Christ lives within me, when God covers me and the Holy Spirit directs my every foot step? I am never alone, and I never face my problems alone.

I encourage you to revel in the knowledge, the understanding, the awesome reality that Christ actually lives within you, the reality that God the Father, the creator of all things, holds you in the palm of His hand, and the reality that His very Spirit, the ultimate Comforter and bearer of Truth will guide you in the way you should go.

God bless each and every one of you that take the time out of your lives to read my thoughts here. I give thanks for each of you.

Nehemiah 8:10 The joy of the Lord is your strength. *When you are joyful in the Lord, you are at your strongest*

Isaiah 43:1-3 Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
For I am the Lord thy god, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior... *Because we are His, we have NOTHING to fear*

What we are freely given...

2006-09-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

We use the term 'heart' quite a bit; 'I love you with all my heart', 'broken heart', 'I give you my heart'. Our heart is not our own. Our physical heart is part of the body God has loaned us to house our spirit while we are here. Our spiritual heart, once we come to Christ, is also His. I find comfort in this.
I picture my heart, and though it is the spiritual heart, I 'see' it as the physical heart that our bodies possess, in the loving hands of God. He knows how tender our spiritual hearts are and when they are the most vulnerable. Mine has been extremely vulnerable to attack recently. Had I tried to care for it on my own, it surely would have become hardened. But I gave it to my Father, and he carries it in the palms of His hands. He not only protects it, but cares for it lovingly. Therefore, that spiritual heart of mine is, and will remain, tender.

I'm asked a lot lately why I'm not bitter over the recent events of my life. I can't be bitter when my heart rests in the hands of a loving God. I honestly believe that what we are given, we are to freely give away. We've all known , or been at times, that child that when given a gift will not share it...will not allow anyone to touch it but yet loves to show it off. That is not of God. God has given us a loving spirit, an unselfish spirit, His Spirit. God has blessed me with so much kindness, so much love, so much mercy and so much forgiveness that I can not, in all good consciousness, not share it...not pour it out to others. I find myself at His throne of grace daily. You can not approach His throne with a hardened heart, with a heart full of bitterness or resentment. I would rather be able to kneel before Him than live a life where He can not reside, and He can not walk in bitterness, resentment or unforgiveness, for He is HOLY.

We are here to love one another, not ourselves.

2006-09-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

This day, September 11th, is a day of remembering and honoring in our country...and around the world. There are still, today, so many questions, so many tears. I have no answers. I am in awe of the way the worlds people continue to turn on themselves, but there are answers, I'm sure of this. One day we will have them, and until that day all we can do is wipe those tears of others and lift them up in prayer.

There is a song, I don't know the name or the artist, but the words are something I repeat over and over and over:

My Savior loves, my Savior lives, my Savior's always there for me.
My God He was, my God He is, my God He's always going to be.

I've been blessed in my life. I've faced walls but was able to climb them, the only times I've ever been homeless was by choice and though there have been times of hunger, I've never starved. I've loved, I've been loved and I'll be loved again. Regardless of circumstances, past or present, I know that I am blessed.

Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for my sins, Lord. Forgive me for the times I let my mind focus on me rather than the needs of others.
I thank You, Lord, for Your mercy that is beyond our understanding. I thank You for Your love that is unconditional and never ending.
I ask, Father, that You would remind us to wipe the tears of others before we feel sorry for ourselves. I ask that we follow who You are, Your example, and not the examples that we, or the world, has set before us.
I love You, I'm thankful for You, and I praise Your holy name.
In the name of my Lord, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

...And Love Endures

2006-08-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

A couple of times in the past I've written a double post (the same one here being on my Christian blog), and this will be another one of those times.

Now, y'all know that I wasn't raised a Christian. Didn't set foot in a church growing up and admittingly, I studied the Satanic Bible for many years. Read this carefully, I am not ashamed of what I did before coming to know Christ when I was 26 years old. Because of who I was and what I did, I have full knowledge of what God is capable of bringing us out of and how endless His forgiveness is.
There had been times, when I first became a Christian, that I was envious of those who had come to know Christ as a child and had gotten to grow in His love their entire life. That is, until I realized that for all things (and people) there is a season, and a reason. I went through what I did for a reason, mainly because I am able to recognize that spirit of hopelessness and feeling lost in others because I lived it for so many years. I am able to witness from what I know of first hand.
Even when I was lost, God knew exactly where I was and He loved me. When I came to realize this, it was the best time of my life. Unless you've experienced that freedom from the chains that have bound you and to have honestly met God on the most personal level, of giving Him your heart, you'll not fully understand where I'm coming from. However, when I remember back to that exact moment, and the days...months and years that followed, I'm in awe of how much joy one's heart can actually contain.

Okay, so what's up with the witnessing? I'm telling you this, again and at this time, because I'm asked as late why I'm not more upset than I am, why I'm not falling apart, why I don't 'care' more about Mark having left us.
Why? Because I've walked through worse. Because I not only trust in my God who has proven to me over and over so many times that the stars above couldn't begin to measure the times He's seen me through hard times, but I choose to live in His joy rather than my sorrow. Because when I speak to Him, when I confide in Him, when I kneel before Him, I have peace in my soul.

I will never tell you (or anyone) 'you should', 'you have to' or try to direct you in a way that I believe you should go, because I am not God. I am of God, and I will pray for God's guidance of what to do for you, but what you 'should do' or what you 'have to do' is between you and God alone. Sometimes advice is given with the purest of heart, but it's still between you and God, and no one else knows what you should or shouldn't do.
There are times that even those with the purest of heart and best of intentions will try to steer you in a direction that may not be God's will for you. Some talk about a 'gut feeling'...I believe that we have our own personal protective fence around us, God's Holy Spirit. Though some may with the best of intentions give you what they believe to be great advice, let it be the Holy Spirit that guides you, that advises you. Sometimes He may whisper, sometimes He may put His hand upon your shoulder and sometimes He may convict you to tears, but He will direct you in the way you should go. Trust that God loves you in spite of whom you see in the mirror, trust His Holy Spirit to guide you forever in the right direction and trust that there isn't a pain or sorrow that Christ doesn't personally know first hand.

I've been asked as of late why I'm not more angry, why I don't resent Mark or others who have turned their backs on us, why I'm not vengeful, why I'm not afraid. Simple. I choose to love. I choose to forgive, I choose to pray for them instead and I choose to trust in God, as I've learned to do for the past 25 years. God has never forsaken me, even when I've forsaken myself, even when family has forsaken me, God will never forsake me.

I don't want anger in my home. Yes, we were hurt, but we layed that hurt, that disappointment and all anger at the foot of the cross. We left it there. How can we carry it with us when we've given it away?

My boys and I are happy. There is laughter in my home. There is peace in my home. There is joy and so much love in my home. My home is spiritually healthier than it has been in a very long time. We pray together, we praise and worship together and we give thanks together.

Like the life I lived before I came to Christ, the reason for the course of our lives is more often than not unknown to us. But there is a reason, have no doubt, and when God chooses to reveal it to you, He will. Trust. It's a learning experience.
We're trusting, and because we do, we are able to live without fear and all the downfalls that accompany fear.

Regardless of whether or not anyone understands the path you are walking, as long as you are walking with God, walk on. God is good, and His love truly does endure.

Timing

2006-08-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

First, please forgive me for being so lack in my posting here. I've been selfish for not posting here more often, and I've been convicted of it. Again, I'm sorry and ask your forgiveness.

Many times in my life I've found myself frustrated when I've waited on God's direction in my life. I've become impatient and sometimes doubted myself, whether I'm listening carefully enough to God, whether I'm sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit.
What I should have learned in all my 24 years since I've given my life to God is that He has special timing...and that His timing is perfect. Mine...not so much. Though at the time, when I think I need something (or some times 'want' something) I believe it should be now...or at least soon. However, then how would I learn patience? If our children got what they wanted every time they thought they needed (or wanted) something, they'd be spoiled rotten. I don't want to be spoiled rotten. They'd not appreciate anything they received. I want to be appreciative. Most importantly, they'd not give thanks for what they received. I want to live in a state of thanksgiving and of praise.

So, I'm fighting that human nature part of me that wants to throw a childish fit and say I need (fill in the blank...there's a large choice of things to choose from lately) NOW and trust God's timing instead. His perfect timing. It's something I have done, something I can do and something I will continue to do for the rest of my life, because if I have learned anything in these last 24 years, it's that I can trust Him...completely.

Father,
Forgive me, Lord, for my sins. Forgive me that I've not had my priorities in order the last couple of weeks. Forgive me that I've tried to keep things in my life in order rather than giving them to You and trusting You to take care of them.
I am so thankful for the many times that I've not gotten my own way, and for the lessons I've learned from trusting in You. You are forever my answer, forever my solution, forever my God. I love you with all that I am and all that I will ever be. Which, by the way, is up to You. I'm in good hands.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen

Forgive

2006-07-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

Forever is longer than one can put into words. It's too long to carry a grudge. I honestly believe that when someone hurts you and does you wrong, that it gives them power over you as long as you hold it against them. Until the minute that you completely and totally forgive them, you are giving them power over every element of your life.
Anger and resentment will eat away at your heart, even a precious and gentle heart, like the cancer that it is.
I believe that we must forgive, and forgive completely, as much for ourselves as for the ones we are forgiving. We can not say that we forgive someone and still wish them hurt and pain. It's only when we can honestly hope that the person that has wronged us will walk along side the Lord and be blessed, that we can say that we have truly forgiven them. And it's only then, that we, also, can once again walk along side our Lord and be blessed.

Father,
Please forgive me of my mistakes. See my heart, know my mind and convict me of where I err. I wish with all that is within me to be free to worship You, to hear You clearly and to do Your will in my life. Help me to teach this to my children by being an example, Lord.
In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Praise

2006-07-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

This song has been put on my heart today to share, and I must be obedient.

Praise The Lord ~ by Russ Taff

When you're up against a struggle
That's shattered all your dreams
And your hopes been cruely crushed
By Satan's manifested schemes.
And you feel the urge within you
To submit to earthyly fears
Don't let the faith your standing in
Seem to disappear

CHORUS:
Praise the Lord.He will work for those who praise Him
Praise the Lord. For our God inhabits praise.
Praise the Lord.And those chains that seem to bind you
Serve only to remind you.
As they fall powerless behind you.
When you praise Him.

Satan is a liar and he wants to make us think
That we are paupers, when we know ourselves
We're children of the King.
So lift up the mighty shield of faith
For the battle must be won
Remember Jesus Christ has risen
So the works already done.

CHORUS:
Praise the Lord.He will work for those who praise Him
Praise the Lord. For our God inhabits praise.
Praise the Lord.And those chains that seem to bind you
Serve only to remind you.
As they fall powerless behind you.
When you praise Him.

Father,
I confess my sins before You, and I ask You to forgive me my wrongs. I pray that You would convict me to remember that I must renew my mind minute by minute to keep You first and formeost in my mind. For when I do, Lord, all things become clear.
I love You. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I Will Trust

2006-07-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

When new trouble throws itself into our path, we have choices. We can back up, and run. We can beg for mercy. Or, we can realize that it is not in our path, but that it is us that is in it's path. Trouble, pain, suffering...it's not of God, it's of Satan. When we are on God's path, doing God's will, and enjoying the fruits of our labor or obedience, we are actually in Satan's way. He has no desire for us to bear the fruits of God, it could be contagious to those we encounter. Satan will throw every possible curve and roadblock in our way, not only to discourage our faith and our blessings, but to keep us from spreading it to others.
The best defense that I've found is remembering what God has seen me through before. To remember that He has never let me down and He has made roads for me where it seemed impossible to be any.
It's Satan's hope that we will focus on the problem directly in front of us, and not on the miracles and mercies of our yesterdays. Satan, above all things, is a deceiver...and a good one, he's had much practice. He rejoices in our fear.
This is where I'm smiling. Fear has no place in God. Fear is a natural emotion, and it's common for it to hit us. However, the Word tells us to renew our minds, and when we do, there is no fear. There are only memories, recalling all of the many, many times God has seen us through the trials and tribulations that at the time (when we gave place to satan's fear) seemed overwhelming. But remembering that we got through it, that we were victorious through God, our loving Father, with whom nothing is impossible...then peace comes. And we smile. And that peace, that smile, that trust that the Lord our God is stronger than any circumstance or situation thrown our way, is the dynamite that blows Satan's roadblock right out of our path that God has given us to travel. It is Satan that will have to find a new road this time, because once again, he lost his right to the path that I am traveling.

Father,
I ask you to forgive me for any fear that I have allowed into my life, into my heart and into my mind. I thank You, Lord, that You have wiped my tears and held my heart in the palm of your hands. You, alone, will I focus on. I thank You for the love You have shown me, the many, many ways that You prove to me that I have no need to fear, that You are always with me. You, thank you Jesus, will never walk out on me, never abandon myself or my children and will make a way where sometimes it seems there isn't one. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is impossible with You.
I thank You for the joy You have given me, and that You are faithful to Your promises.
In the name of Jesus, my one and only Lord and Savior, I pray. Amen.

My Constant

2006-07-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

God is our rock, our foundation, and nothing will separate us from His love.

Father, I thank You for proving Your love to me minute by minute. You alone are my security blanket in a world that is constantly changing.
I love You, I trust You and I praise You for the way You love me unconditionally and continuously. In Christ I pray, Amen.

Planting Seeds

2006-06-30T05:40:00.000-07:00

Before I became a Christian, at the age of 26, I was an atheist. Raised that way. I believed that people who needed to lean on a god were weak, too weak to take responsibility for their own life. I believed that their "faith" was their crutch.
I was an idiot.
I was so out of control, that I couldn't see all of my crutches. Drugs, sex, alcohol, all the cussing I did...all just a mask for a life that was leaving me empty and wanting more than I had. Nothing was ever enough. Ever.
I had so many trust issues. How could I begin to place trust in someone when I couldn't trust myself. If I couldn't keep from letting myself down, how could I expect others not to? I never told the truth to anyone, especially myself, how could I trust anyone else to be honest with me? I cheated in every relationship I ever had, so how could I ever have faith in anyone not to cheat on me?
The night that I gave God a chance to show me He was real, was more of a challenge than anything else. People had been witnessing to me in a bar I was bartending and something about the way that they didn't react to my insults, the way they came back night after night after night in spite of how badly I made fun of them or how foul my language was, cracked that shell that I had protected myself with all my life.
All by myself, in the corner of my dark apartment, at 3 a.m., I challenged God. God is always up to a challenge. I asked Him, if He was real, to prove it to me. He did. I've told this story before, and I don't mean to repeat myself, but He left no doubt that He is an awesome God that night and that there is NOTHING that He can not do.
Something I've learned from that night so many years ago, is that faith is not easy. It's not for the weak. Faith is an action, it takes second to second renewing of the mind. Believing in something that you can not YET see is not easy. No, faith is not a spectator sport. It's much harder to love than hate. It's harder to forgive than to resent. It's harder to tithe than to go shopping.
Living for yourself is easy, living for Christ is not. It wasn't easy for those guys to come into that bar all those many, many nights. Being kind to me when I was hurling 4 letter words at them couldn't have been something they were looking forward to. But they came nightly and loved me. They didn't pressure me, they were kind to me. Kind...wow. That's exactly what they were. They didn't spew condemnation at me, they loved me with their words and with their deeds. They changed my life. They changed my life. They planted that seed within me that perhaps there was more than what I had...an empty bitterness so deeply rooted in my core that I didn't even notice it anymore.
I am so thankful to those Christians who walked into the pit of hell and witnessed to me. Each and every single day of my life is a witness of their love for Christ Jesus...and for me, a stranger.

Father,
Forgive me Lord, for the wrongs that I have done. For the thoughts that were not of You, and words that hurt rather than bless. I thank You for Your forgiveness, and for the mercy You show me.
I thank You, Lord, for those who witness, especially when it is outside of their comfort zone. I pray that You would bless them and reward them greatly for their commitment to You, and to Your word. Help me to be a light unto others, and not simply keep them company in their darkness.
With all my heart, I love You. I thank You for those You have sent to me. I thank You for what You have brought me out of and what You bring me into with every breath I take. I praise Your holy name. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Trust

2006-06-29T05:46:00.000-07:00

Trust. I would think that with all I have been through in my life, that trust would come easy to me by now. But, I'm human, and I mess up all the time.

Trust. God has never that first time failed me. He has never once not been there when I called on Him. He has never turned His back on me.

Trust. It's not God that can not be trusted, but me that has a hard time trusting. Am I confusing God with the people that have let me down? No. What I'm doing is turning to my emotions rather than my faith. Emotions are not of God, because they change and our God is constant. Emotions are fleeting and our God is steadfast.

Trust. I will trust God with all that I am. I will give Him direction over my feet. I will set my sight upon Him, and not on what I see. I will trust Him with all that I am, because all that I am is because of Him. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows the result of all my decisions before the choice has even been given to me. And that choice is mine to make.

I choose to trust. He holds me in the palms of His hands, and there is no safer place to be.

Trust.

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my sins. I acknowledge my errors, and I know there are many, but You are a mighty God with more love than this world can understand. I thank You that through Your son, Jesus, I can confess my sins before You and be forgiven.
Father, I ask that I will remember to trust You with my life. Changes are coming my way, Lord, and on my own, they seem to be more than I can handle. They are more than I can handle. But, Father, nothing is impossible for You. This is one thing that I know beyond a shadow of doubt. This is the knowledge that I must keep first and foremost in my thoughts.
Carry me, Lord, when I fall. I don't wish to fall, but right now, I can't seem to help myself. I will trust You, Lord. I will trust You.
In the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I pray. Amen.

We All Fall Short

2006-06-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

We make mistakes. All of us. Some are small, like forgetting to shut off the water and flooding the kitchen. Some are larger, like releasing a built up anger and hurting someone physically. I've done neither of these things, so don't try stretching your imagination. I'm using them as examples, because the mistakes I've made are between myself and God. And, so are your mistakes...they are between you and the Father.
When we confess our sins, to the Father, and ask His forgiveness, not only does He forgive, but He rejoices, because we have reconciled ourselves to Him once again.
Sometimes, when we make mistakes, we condemn ourselves. God never does. We feel our shame, and we may turn from Him. But make no mistake, He never turns His back on us.
The shame and torment that we are going through, it's not of God. We feel guilty. In our spirit, we know we've done wrong. Every time we look at ourselves in the mirror, it's that mistake we see. It's our own shame we see in our eyes. Not Gods.

I'm not a theologian. I've never claimed to be and if you've ever came here thinking I was, you've made a mistake. I pray, and I testify. That's all.

With that said, I wonder if when God created Adam and Eve, and they disobeyed Him, if perhaps He couldn't fully understand why or how they could do that to Him. He sent them from the garden of Eden. Over time, as man continued to go his own way, rather than God's, He sent the flood. I wonder if perhaps that is the purpose and the need to send Christ. No, I know that it was for us, our salvation. But, for the first time, God was man, and He lived as a man. There had to be a reason, and I honestly wonder if it were so He could first hand know our temptations and understand our failures, to feel what we feel. And He wept, Jesus wept.

I don't know if any of that makes any sense whatsoever, but because of God having lived as a flesh and blood man, I KNOW that he understands my feelings. I know that He understands my trials and my tribulations, my success and my failures. It's why I feel comfortable to go before Him, to cry and confess my wrongs and ask Him to forgive me. Because I know He's been here and been through what I've gone through, and that He understands. I know that He is simply glad that I have gone through what I have and still call upon His name. He rejoices that though sometimes I may go off course, I always find my way back to Him. And every time, without fail, He has forgiven me and replaced my sorrow with joy. His joy.

Father,
I make mistakes. I can't believe how many I can make in 24 hours. I ask You to forgive me, and I thank You that I can come before You at any time and lay those errors of judgment at Your feet. Not only lay them there...but leave but leave them there.
Father, I ask that those who come across my words will leave their burdens at Your feet. I pray that they will be led by Your Holy Spirit to give you their wrongs and walk away with Your love, with Your joy and with Your peace. Help me, Lord, to share what I have of You every day of my life.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

We're Called To Help, Not Hinder

2006-06-27T04:26:00.000-07:00

In the effort of proving to the world, to themselves and even to God, what good Christians they are, some people step on others. They cast their words as stones and hurt others. In their attempt to desperately separate themselves from the world, they also separate themselves from the Word of God. They present themselves as a stumbling block on the path that others are on to yet find their place in Christ. That path is a difficult one to many. The Word tells us that not only is it a narrow road, but that Satan will be coming at us with every road block possible to keep us from reaching our place with the Father. It is sad that Christians, knowingly or not, aid Satan in placing those road blocks in the way of those who are yet to believe, those who have yet to accept Christ as their Savior, those who are still being lured by the temptings this world has to offer.
I remember clearly being on this road. I am thankful for those Christians that visited the pits of hell, to witness love and acceptance to me. It had to be uncomfortable for them. It must have taken much prayer and putting on the whole armor of God to walk into the places where I was. But they did. The Word also tells us to avoid threatening (Ephesians 6:9), that there is NO respect of persons with the Father.
I think, perhaps, that some Christians forget that they are not coming against the person, but against "principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world..." (Ephesians 6:12)
Many times the Word instructs us to love one another. It is by His grace that we are in Him, not by anything of our own. Not by our own works, not by whom we choose to surround ourselves with, but by HIS GRACE. What good do we do to spread His Word to those who already know Him, to show His Love to those who already love Him or to be an example of Him to those who have already accepted Him? And what good do we do to be a stumbling block to those who have yet accepted Him into their hearts?

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my sins. I acknowledge the many mistakes I've made, the hardness of my heart which is in no way of You, and thank You for that forgiveness, which is through Your son, Jesus Christ.
I pray for those, Lord, who have already distanced themselves from the world in which they live. Though we are not of this world any longer, we are still in it and we exist to give witness of You. I pray that we would be sensitive to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit as we encounter those who are still lost, and that we would witness to them in love that they may see You in us. What an awesome privilege that is for us, Father.
I give you thanks for my many blessings, and for the lives that I may touch today. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Servants

2006-06-22T05:10:00.000-07:00

Many, many years ago, Mark and I lived next door to a precious Christian family. Now, Mark and I were going to church every Sunday, following the Word in every way that we were aware of and yet, still, we were having a lot of problems come our way. This was before children, so at least 18 years ago. Our car quit, our air conditioner went out in the middle of the Texas summer, I was having serious health problems and we didn't have any medical insurance. If there was ever a 'woe is me' situation, that was one of them.
The husband of our Christian family next door came over while Mark was outside one day, and told Mark, point blank, that we were not right with God. Mark was instantly offended. But, our neighbor didn't point his finger at Mark, he didn't say it with a mightier than thou attitude, in fact, he said it in love, with concern and with kindness.
I began praying for God to show me where we were failing Him. After awhile, Mark, too, started praying with me that God would reveal to us where we were failing Him. It wasn't long before Mark and I, both, came to realize where we were falling short in our walk with the Father. We asked Him to show us, and He did.
When Mark and I told each other what had been revealed to us, and it was the same area, we first asked for forgiveness and then we changed that area of our lives. Mark also asked our neighbor to forgive him and thanked him for his obedience to God, because it couldn't have been easy to approach Mark and tell him what God had instructed him to.
Things didn't change that very moment for us, but our attitudes changed, and steadily our situation improved.

Sometimes when we are lost in our own dry desert, God will send us someone to point us toward an oasis. It's up to us whether or not we will listen. It's up to us whether or not we will follow directions. It's up to us whether or not we will accept what is graciously available to us, or if we will die of thirst because of our own stubbornness and pride.

Father,
I constantly fall short of the person I want to be, and I ask You to forgive me for my errors, my shortcomings, my stubbornness and my pride. I thank You for Your grace that covers me, and for Your Son, my salvation.
I thank You, Lord, for those here among us who will risk ridicule to follow Your lead. I thank You, for their heart and obedience. I pray, Father, that I, too, will be strong enough to follow Your directions, when so instructed, regardless of the personal sacrifice or however much it may be out of my comfort zone.
I love You. I trust You. I surrender to You. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.

Casey's Gift

2006-06-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Casey asked me Sunday, if I was going to volunteer at our church to help out at this summers bible school for ages 5 years old through 5th grade. I've never been fond of little kids. I substitute high school age kids, and only high school kids, since finding out how little I like younger kids after subbing for them for about three years.
I asked him if he thought that I'd be any good at that, knowing how I didn't like them and how I use to tend to make them cry so much when I subbed those ages.
Casey said "You should be, you led me to Christ when I was younger". This stopped me. I asked him what he was talking about. He told me that I was the one that always prayed with him, read to him from the Word, and when he was ready to give his heart to Christ, that I was the one that lead him in prayer.
I'm sorry to say that I don't specifically remember that prayer, but I suffer from a medical condition that takes many of my memories from me.
But when Casey told me this, and that he remembered it clearly, I cried.
This is possibly the best thing that Casey has ever given me.
To know, that I am the one that led my son to Christ, seeing what a great Christian this young man is, humbles me beyond description.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to be the one to share this priceless gift with my son.

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my sins. I want to come before You, clean and washed in the blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ.
I thank You for Your forgiveness and for Your love by which I am able to have hope for all of my tomorrows, and for all of my children's tomorrows. I know, that You alone save. I thank You, Father, that You allow us the priviledge to lead others to You. That they, too, shall know You, and love You and live forever with You.
In all things, I thank You and I give You, and You alone, praise and glory. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.

Lessons, Painful...But Worth Learning

2006-06-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

I understand that not everyone that reads my blog is a believer, but I've got to post this today as it is related to yesterdays post...and a post from a few days ago.

I'd posted about a friend hurting me. I'm not a 'friendly' person ( and don't waste time telling me that you can't believe it, because, TRUST me, it's true). I don't have enough friends to where I can lose one and it not hurt. But, when this all took place with my friend, my heart hardened. That isn't a good thing. A hardened heart will destroy your spirit without your understanding what's wrong.
A few of my posts were negative, angry. Most of you asked about it, some of you emailed me about it. I thought that I was okay, and that's what I told all of you. I couldn't understand why I felt angry. I began praying about it a few days ago, and God had been waiting on me to turn to Him because in a few seconds flat, the Holy Spirit revealed myself to me and it wasn't a pretty sight.
I was carrying a grudge against my friend, I was holding onto anger and the hostility that came with it was stealing my joy. Truly, stealing my joy. This is what prompted the grace and mercy post from yesterday. I had forgotten that lesson that I tried to instill in my boys. When the veil was torn down, after I had prayed about it and God had revealed to me my mistake, it was like a wonderful down pour of refreshing rain after a months and months of hot sun. This is what I was trying to tell in yesterdays post, that I needed to apologize to my friend for holding her mistake against her. We are all human. We all err. We all put ourselves before others sometimes and sometimes we don't realize how it might hurt someone.
This morning I walked out my front door and there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a card from my friend. I didn't open the card, but took them all next door to my friends house and told her how sorry I was that I'd hardened my heart against her. That I loved her and I forgave her and asked her to forgive me. Then I opened the card in front of her. It was a precious heartfelt apology. We cried together and we healed.
If my friend had brought over the flowers and card last week, or anytime before my praying and before God's Holy Spirit had revealed the error of my ways, I'd not been receptive to her apology.
God's timing is PERFECT. This was a lesson I needed to learn. And, regardless of how painful it was for me to learn it...it was something that has taught me something. Actually, taught both my friend and myself an important lesson.
That's it. Love you all. Thanks for bearing with me and loving me. You are all precious to me.

Mercy, Mercy Me

2006-06-15T04:07:00.000-07:00

While the boys were young enough for Easter baskets, we'd fill them up with the usual stuff like candy and toys. But we'd also put those plastic pull apart eggs in them with slips of paper inside. On each slip was written something different; stay up late one night, snack, movie, foot rub, and mercy or grace. Grace could be used as a total forgiveness, or a 'get out of trouble completely' card and mercy as we'd show mercy on them or a 'much lighter and reduced punishment' card. We didn't do the Easter Bunny, but still wanted to celebrate the sacrifice God made for us, as well as Christ's love for us. We wanted to teach the kids about God's grace and mercy. As they got too old for Easter baskets, we'd still give them the eggs with their slips of paper in them.
Now, most years, Charlie would have his grace and mercy slip used by the end of the day. And, that's okay. Casey would save his for the big things. He'd wait so long, taking his small punishments without using them to where we'd forget all about them, and then when he'd make that really huge mistake months after Easter, he'd pull out that grace or mercy slip, depending on the severity of the punishment. Every single year when one of those slips came out, we'd nearly want to say "NO WAY", but every year those slips became as big a lesson for us as they did for him.
I remember one year, maybe when Casey was 13 and Charlie 12, we were leaving a Main Event in the middle of a very hot summer and Casey had lost to Charlie in front of his friends at laser tag. This put Casey in a really bad mood. In the parking lot, Charlie just kept teasing Casey about it and Casey threw a punch. Well, it was on. In the parking lot of Main Event with all their friends and their parents getting into their cars around us. Now, I can count the number of times the boys have fought each other on one hand...and for two boys that close in age, that's not bad. But I yelled at them to break it up, saw Casey whaling away on Charlie (though Charlie was getting his punches in too) and I stepped in the middle of them trying to break them up. At that time, Casey was taller than me and Charlie not quite. When I tried to push them apart, I caught a punch intended for Charlie, right in the eye. The realization that I'd been hit is what stopped the fight.
Now, I was seriously injured. I had a swollen and very black eye. Neither one of them had a mark on them, go figure. Anyway, yeah...I was mad. They got in the car, and no one said a word all the way home. Oh, Casey was sorry. But he was also still angry and he was a 13 year old boy with all that changing going on in his freakishly tall body. So, his 'sorry' was more like "I didn't mean to hit you". When we got home he went straight to his room and didn't come down until after Mark had came home from work, saw my eye and we discussed what had happened. Mark doesn't get mad often, but this was one of those times he did. We finally called Casey down from his room and we told him he was grounded from tv, radio, video games, or going out side to play with his friends for the rest of the summer. Something like a month, I think. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the mercy slip of paper. He said that he didn't want to walk away scott free from what he'd done so he was using the mercy slip. Mark and I both wanted to say "NO WAY", that he deserved to get the full punishment for what he'd done, but...we had to honor that slip of paper. We had to learn that lesson of mercy, as well as Casey did.

I know this post is getting long, and I'm sorry. Even though I spent most of it telling you about how we tried to teach our kids the importance of God's grace and mercy to us, all of us, what I wanted to say most was that I'd forgotten that importance lately. I like to think I'm a pretty good 'Christian' example, but in reality, lately I've not been. Through prayer and conviction of the Holy Spirit (and for those of you who are not sure what I'm talking about, just suffice to say it ain't pretty) and with ~deb bringing it home, I realized that I've not showed mercy to a friend of mine who recently did me wrong. It was revealed to me that I can't pick and choose whom I show God's grace and mercy to, just as He doesn't pick and choose whom He shows it to. It's a gift given to all of us and we're to, in turn, show it to others. It's easier to show someone mercy when their transgression is not against you personally. This is what I have learned. I'm not a quick study, apparently, but I do learn eventually.
So, to the friend that I have hardened my heart to, I will now apologize and ask them for their forgiveness. I love them, as God has loved me through all my many mistakes, and I will continue to love them as He continues to love me.

Father,
Forgive me my sins, oh Lord. I acknowledge them, and I lay them at Your feet. I thank You, for Your love. I thank You for Your forgiveness, for Your grace and for Your Mercy, Lord. Help me to not only set aside my pride, but to bury it. I want to be a witness of You, Father. Of Your love.
In all my ways, may I be an example of Your Word and Your Love. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Fellowship & Testify

2006-06-05T05:14:00.000-07:00

My oldest son, Casey (16) , is leaving this Sunday for his first church retreat. It's for high school aged kids and they're going to the Gulf Shores in Alabama where they've rented condo's for a week. Mark was raised Baptist and went on youth retreats every year. I was raised atheist and, well, they didn't have a camp. :)
We belong to Fellowship Church, which is a non-denominational church. Casey goes with us every Sunday and he takes Charlie every Wednesday for youth group. (I say 'takes' because sometimes we kind of have to give Charlie a nudge to go on Wednesdays) Casey also goes every Sunday night to a Baptist Church that some of his friends belong to. He never misses these three services a week. If we don't go one Sunday, Casey will go alone. If Charlie can't go on Wednesday, Casey has no problem going without him. The Sunday night teen service at the Baptist Church had been discontinued for the summer, so Casey got kids together to play football or basketball at the church with the church's permission.
We had a parent meeting last Wednesday at the Baptist Church, to get all the information turned in and everything settled. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was so overwhelmed at all the kids there, and...yeah, the kind of kids. I guess, from the way I was raised, I was thinking there would be a bunch of geeky kids there. Not that Casey is geeky...nowhere to go with that that keeps my foot outta my mouth, huh? But anyway, my point is, they weren't geeky. Some of our schools best athletes were there, girls with too many piercings for me not to stare at them were there, kids dressed in what I considered rebellious clothing and even 'goth' attire were there. When we walked in, they may have all looked different, but they all treated each other the same. They'd all greet each other in a hug, and not just the southern hospitality but keep your distance kind of hug, I mean big ole 'give me a hug brother' kind of hugs. It was awesome.
When the youth pastor opened with a word of prayer, I saw every kids head go down and I saw some hands raised, I saw kids holding hands and I saw every kid there showing respect to their youth pastor and more importantly to God, their Father. I began to cry. Openly, yeah, I did. I cried. I don't know when I was last touched by His love so much. I couldn't contain it. It overflowed and I wept.
I am so thankful for the love of God these kids have. I'm thankful for whoever or whatever brought them to the Lord and I'm thankful for all the lives they've yet to touch themselves. How amazing it is to see the Word of God being planted and sent forth to bear fruit in these young men and women. How thankful I am that my son is in the midst of them.
Friday I went to one of our local Christian book stores and bought Casey his first adult bible. He's had his children's bible and he had his teen bible. They told us at the meeting they'd like for the kids to bring the NIV version if they had it, because that was what they would be teaching their lessons from. I bought Casey a beautiful black leather Life's Applications Study Bible, and his name is being engraved (imprinted) on the cover of it. I get it on Tuesday and I can't wait to surprise him with it. I hope it will be used, written in, prayed over and witnessed from for many, many, many years to come.
Casey graduates high school next year (May of 2007) and I am so proud of the man of God I see him becoming every single day. I see that it's not something that he's stumbled into, but a decision he makes daily. His spirit cries out for fellowship with the Father, and I am so thankful that the Father has provided a road for him to follow. I'm thankful that I've been allowed to witness it, it truly is one of my greatest blessings.

Father,
I come to You humbled by Your love. I lay my sins at Your feet and ask for Your forgiveness.
I ask You, Lord, to provide a safe trip and haven for this group of young adults and for those who have given of their time and money to make this trip possible. I pray that Your Spirit will be received by each person attending this trip, that Your angels will provide safety for them every second they are gone and that they will be a blessing and a true witness of You to everyone they meet on their journey.
I thank You, Father, for my son and his desire to know You more. In the name of Jesus, my Lord, I pray. Amen

2006-05-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

I was visiting Gennas blog yesterday, and she had asked that if anyone was in need of prayer, to please email her. This touched me. What a precious thing to do and what another great use of the internet!
James 5:15,16: And the prayer of faith shall heal the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The unceasing prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Galations 6:2: Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Matthew 18:19,20: "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in Heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

I encourage you, if you stumble across this post and you are in need of prayer, please let Genna or I know so that we may pray for you. You do not need to leave your name if you don't want to. Just let us know your need and we will stand with you in prayer.

God bless you and keep you.

Father,
I confess my sins before You Father and ask for Your forgiveness. I thank You for Genna, and her heart to serve You and to do Your will in her life. I thank You for her sweet and gentle spirit and her desire to help others. I want to join her, Lord, in this form of servitude. I pray that anyone that comes across this post and is in need of prayer would let us know, that we may lift them up to You. Where two or more are gathered in Your name, there You will be also. Your word is true. I also thank You for anyone who will stand with us and lift those in need up to You today and always.
I thank You for Your ever lasting and never failing love. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Turn The Page

2006-05-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

There was such a great message this past weekend at church. The title of it was called 'Page Turner', and was taught by Janay McDonald. You can watch it here. Janay compared our lives to a book, a novel, that we write ourselves. The first part of the book would be the prologue, the small start of the book that would catch you up on all things before the true story begins. This part of 'our' book would be our life before Christ. Though it's an important part of our book, it's not the main story. It's the explanation of what leads us to the main story.

Page one, chapter one, is the day we accept Christ. It is at that moment that our 'book', our life begins. Everything up to this point was merely a means of getting here. This is where our true story begins. It's where our life begins.
As in all books worth reading, there are highs and there are lows. A book without some twists wouldn't be worth the purchase price. A great price was paid for our 'book' and it's well worth the read. There are trials, there are tribulations and there is triumph. There is a villain, there is a Hero. There are choices to be made. There are mysteries, there are revelations.

As with every book we pick up and read, there is one goal. The ending, the finishing of the book. I've never bought a book and only wanted to read the first 3/4 of the story. No, I pick it up to ultimately know the ending. Through a good book, sometimes I want to jump ahead and read the ending because I just can't stand not knowing how it all turns out...how it ends.

Well, with our book, we all know our ending. We already know our epilogue. It's our forever after with our Father. Our epilogue was known to us at the beginning of Chapter one. It's life everlasting with Christ. It's the happily ever after that we hope for in every book we read, but for us, it's real. We know that we have a happily ever after, that we will reside in Heaven with our Father.

Every story has a prologue, story and an epilogue. The prologue gets us to our main story. The story, though different for every author, will eventually have an ending. My epilogue makes the prologue and the story worth writing...each and every page, to get to it.

If you have a few minutes, I encourage you to visit the link above and hear this message yourself. I apologize for not having done it justice, just did the best I could. :)

Father,
I am sorry for my mistakes. For the ones I've made knowingly, and for the ones that I've yet to understand or realize. I thank You that You are a forgiving Father, that You understand the element of human error and love us in spite of ourselves.
I thank You for Janay's message, I thank You for the means it took to bring it to me, and that my family and I were able to be present to hear it. I thank You for each and every life that I was able to bring it to with this post. I know, Father, that regardless of what I've written, that Your Holy Spirit will breathe the message You have for each person that reads this, into it. Your ways are amazing and I am in awe of how You will use each of us, if we will allow You. I give You my life willingly, Father and ask You to use me.
Thank You, Lord. I love You with all that I am and all that I will be. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The Smallest Of Candles

2006-05-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

We are each called to follow Christ and to shine His light in a world of darkness. The Word tells us that we are not to hide that light, but to let it shine in world of darkness. There is so much darkness in our world, and yet regardless of how black that darkness and that void is...it can not help but succumb to the light. God is that light, and we are His candles carrying that flame to a world that is lost.
Regardless of the well intentions, the candle can not be the flame. The candle is but a servant to the flame, a carrier of the flame. It is not the candles purpose to be a light, but to provide a way for the light to be. God is the only flame that can bring light to darkness. A candle without flame is useless. Yet, I see a lot of candles believing they are the flame and therefore plumping themselves up like a rooster in a hen house. They forget that they, in themselves, can do nothing. Without conceding that Christ is their light, their flame, they are useless and in fact can do more damage to a world that is already bumping into things in this vast void of darkness.
The smallest of candles, once lit, provides a way to many. Regardless of the size of the candle, the flame gives light to darkness.

Father,
I come before You with a humble heart. I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and ask that my sins be forgiven me as I repent, Lord.
I thank You that You love me, that You gave Your only begotten Son for me, and that Your Holy Spirit dwells within me as a lamp unto my feet. I pray Father, that that Light within me will be a beacon to others that are lost and hurting, that it may be a compass to the only real and everlasting source of joy. You, Father, will I serve.
I thank You for anyone whose path will cross this page today. I ask that You would bless them and encourage them in all their ways.
I praise You, and I thank You in Jesus' name, Amen.

Different But Equal

2006-05-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

I love God with all my heart, and I have since 1982. God loves me with all of His heart and has since the beginning of time. His love is strong and His love is forgiving. He knew my shortcomings before I was born, He knew my strong suits too. I had to learn them on my own, and the lesson is ongoing. But I will trust Him to guide me, to lift me up when I fall, to comfort me when I'm hurt and to reprimand me when I err. Because He not only is my Creator, but my Father. He loves me with a Fathers love. There is no sibling rivalry, God loves all His children equally. Sometimes we bring Him tears of joy and sometimes tears of sorrow. But regardless of the cause of tears, He will not turn His back on His children. We may, of our own accord, place a wedge between ourselves and our Father, but when we call, He will still answer. It's who He is.

Father,
I come before you with a humble heart. I acknowledge the errors of my ways before You and ask You for Your forgiveness.
Father, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will make Himself known to those that call upon Your holy name. I pray that their old man will be laid to rest and their new man will rise, filled with Your Holy Spirit. Glory be Your name forever.
In the blessed name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Worthy

2006-04-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you find something that is a mess, like a wadded up rug at a garage sale, until you pick it up, hold it up and let it fall into it's natural shape, and you find you have a treasure. Too many examples to give, an old painting stored in the attic, a diamond ring put in with some costume jewelry, a classic pottery piece gathered with a lot of cheap glassware. Yeah, too many to state.
But, the beauty is there, the value is there, it's just not been used for awhile. It's gathered dust. It's been overlooked, undervalued and discarded. Still, all it takes is someone to be curious, to take that minute to pick it up, dust it off and see it's value.
We all feel like that sometimes, like we're overlooked, undervalued and discarded. But regardless if the entire world fails to see our value, the creator of all things knows our worth. He never questions it, even though we question ourselves at times. He knows our worth, and we are valued.
Today, I feel overlooked, undervalued and discarded. But in my heart, I know that I'm worth the price Christ paid for me. I am worthy!
So, today I'm resting. Trusting in His love for me while I rest, while I indulge myself in some 'me' time.

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my sins, Lord. My selfishness, my bad attitude and my lack of patience. I confess this to You, and acknowledge my errors. I thank You, for Your love and Your forgiveness.
I pray that anyone coming across this post today would know that You love them, regardless of their mistakes. I pray that they will know that regardless of the ways they fall short, that they are still loved by You, and that they are precious to You.
I thank You. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Questions

2006-04-19T04:20:00.001-07:00

I've always been the kind of person that you have to prove things to. I've always found it hard to trust anything, people, books, signs, I've questioned it all. I'm sure it has much to do with never having anything to trust in growing up. But, I'm an adult now and all reasons are no longer important. Before I came to Christ, one of my major hurdles keeping me from believing was my constant questioning. 'How could this be possible? How could that be possible?'
I still have questions, 23 years later, but I don't let them hinder my walk with Christ. The questions I have now can be found in the Word (thank God for the concordance), but mostly I find them in Him and by practicing faith. Faith is like a muscle, the more it is used the stronger it gets.
What I've learned is to not waste my time on questions I can't answer. People ask me if I believe in UFO's, do I believe in ghosts, how do I explain prehistoric man? The only answer I can give them is an honest one, 'I don't know'.
Timothy 1:4 tells us: Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies (history), which minister (cause) questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith.
The Word concludes in Timothy 6:20 & 21: keep that which is committed to thy trust (the Word), avoiding profane (such as do not honor God) and vain (empty) babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:
Which some professing have erred (made mistakes) concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.

My son, Charlie, has asked me a few good questions lately. If Adam and Eve were the first 2 people, where did everyone else come from unless there was incest. Truth is, I don't know. Perhaps God created a Jane and John to live down the block from Adam and Eve, we don't know. He's asked all the good ones as he's walking down that road heading towards giving himself totally to Christ, I remember that road. Some just run down it with ease, some stumble and fall, but get back up and keep walking. The destination is the same, the journey is what makes us individuals and we're all special and precious in God's sight.

What I impress upon him is that there are things that we will never know until we are home with the Father and all things are revealed to us. What I impress upon him, and what I bear in mind myself, is this, Ecclesiastes 12:12-13: And further by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end, and much study is as weariness of the flesh. Let us hear the conclusion (the end of the matter) of the whole matter: Fear (respect, honor) God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. Yes, for this is the WHOLE duty of man.

Father,
I confess my sins to you Lord, and ask that You forgive me of my wrong doings. For this, I give You thanks and bless Your Holy name. You are holy and You are merciful.
Father, there are many questions that fill our human nature, we are, by nature, curious. But as a child that learns what doors he or she may open and which are forbidden, we learn to accept that there are things which are not known to us, that they are behind a forbidden door and are not for our edification. I am thankful for your patience, Lord, as we, Your children, learn to walk towards You with all the lessons that come with maturity in You.
I pray that Your love would be shared by those who know You and are continuously growing in You. I welcome the day that all things will be revealed to me, but until that time, I will serve You with a joyous heart, Father, because I am Your beloved. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Celebrating The Ultimate Sacrifice

2006-04-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Before I share anything with you today, I ask that you visit this post on The Resurrection by my friend, Deb.

God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I believe in the Trinity. How is it possible? I don't know, but I've learned to "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thy own understanding. In ALL thy ways acknowledge HIM, and he shall direct thy paths". (Proverbs 3:1-6). What I know, from the Trinity, is that They have all been together, forever. Though separate, they are One. They, together, know what is beyond this world waiting for us, what is available to us.
I believe that this is one of the reasons why when God the Son, while yet also a man, walked this earth that, though He was tempted, was able to remain without sin. He knew the comparison, and there was a true choice of what was worth more. Sin on this earth, as tempting as it's been made to be, or all of Gods children having a way made for them to dwell with the Trinity forever. I, also, believe that having been together (the Trinity) forever, that it must have been so lonely for the Father and the Holy Spirit when Christ left Heaven to be born upon the earth a man, and how hard it must have been for Them to watch Christ go through what He did. When Christ could have chosen to go home at any time, to call upon all the angels of heaven to do battle for Him, and yet He chose to suffer and die, so that we could be saved by His death and resurrection. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (St. John 3:16) and ..."these things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God". (1 John 5:13)
What a celebration there must've been in heaven when the Trinity was reunited, and what a celebration there is yet to be when we join them. This is why my family celebrates Easter. Christ paid a price that we were unable to do, we have been bought with the blood of the Lamb and we know what our future holds.
My family prays that you and your family will have a blessed and happy Easter.

Father,
I come to you, lord, asking that my sins be forgiven, and that I am able to kneel before you washed in the blood of my Christ.
What a season of celebration for those who know You, Father. The joy that is in our hearts, the hope that fills our spirits and the anticipation of being with You, Your Son and Your Holy Spirit, is nearly too much to contain in this earthly vessel. I thank You that Your Son made that way possible for me. I thank you, that He paid a price that I was unable to pay.
It's my prayer, Lord, that those who have yet to know You, will be touched by Your Holy Spirit this day and that their day will cross paths with someone who has been sent by You, to do Your will, to do Your bidding. That there will a be a witness in their life today that they are not able to ignore. And I ask You, Father, to meet them where they are in their life, and that they may know Your Glory this day of holy celebration. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Two Roads

2006-04-14T05:29:00.000-07:00

The Word tells us about the wide and the narrow roads in life. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn, and it's one of the hardest to teach. If I angst over trying to teach it to two teenage boys, imagine the Father with trying to teach it to all of His children. I wonder if there is a supernatural strength Tylenol.
Anyway, the wider the road we take, the easier the choices are to make. Likewise, the narrower the road, the harder the choices are to make. The choice of roads to take is ours, however only one road leads to life eternal with the Father. It's hard, help me lord, it's so hard. That wide road is so inviting, no hills or valleys, none of those pesky little rocks in the road, just gorgeous scenery on a perfect slow and easy Sunday type of drive kind of road. This is the road we take in life when we want to have it all now, enjoy all the pleasures this world has to offer and not have to bother with any of the consequences. Unfortunately, those consequences are huge.
That narrow road? It's got scenery, scenery of those in need, of those hurting, of those who are lonely. It's got the hills and valleys that make our muscles ache to walk it. The narrow road has those little rocks that are so easy to stumble over if we don't watch where we're going. This is the road we take when we let the Father's original 'On-Star' guide us, when we admit we're lost and ask for directions. This is the road we take when it's not the journey that is important to us, but the destination we're wanting to arrive at. The destination that puts the journey of the wide road to shame. The destination that makes every ache, every stumble, and every stop along the way to aid those on the side of the road, worth it. It's that destination that I'm traveling towards, the journey is just the means to get there. I'm made of what it takes to travel that narrow road.

Father,
Please forgive me of my sins this morning. I lay my wrongs at Your feet, I give this heavy load to You, Lord, for my sins weigh me down and I can not stand with them on my back.
I thank You for the road you've set before me. I walk it with joy. I know, Father, that the road to take is mine to choose, and I choose the road that leads me to You. I wear every bruise, every scrape and every tear with a humble heart and with joy. I have seen glimpses of my destination, Lord, and nothing along the way can keep me from reaching it. I know that You walk beside me every step of the way. I do not make this journey alone, unless I choose to. You are with me, Your angels protect me and Your Holy Spirit is always 'On-Call'. If I need to stop and rest, You will not go on without me, but allow me to lay my head upon Your lap to rest. With all that I am, I will follow Your path for me. Your destination is my focus in life, and I thank You for friends and company that walk with me from time to time.
In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Walk, Don't Run

2006-04-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it seems like we're stagnate. Like we're so stagnate in life that mold is fixin to grow on us. *Fixin is Texan for going to* It's okay. Sometimes we need down time, quiet time, listening time. Life isn't all about action. Sometimes we're so use to being on the go, that when life may seem slow for a period of time, it feels wrong. It's not. It's not wrong to go about the same daily tasks for a few days, a month or even years, if that's how God is directing you. The Word tells us to be still and listen. Christ retreated to a quiet place to listen, to communicate with the Father. There were many times the Word tells us that Christ couldn't be found. What was He doing? Who cares, it's not our business to know. We do know that He was about His Fathers business, and that, my friends, is all we need to know.
It's possible to be busy with worthy causes without being about our Fathers business. It's likely that God has you reaching, touching, affecting each and every person in your path today, and all you have to do is be about His business. What is His business? That's between you and Him. His plan for my life isn't His plan for your life. That man you let cut in front of you yesterday on the highway with a smile on your face...he was expecting you to give him an unchristian like motion with your finger. :) You didn't, and that changed his outlook for that moment, maybe for his day. You, my sweet brother and sister, were about your Fathers business.
Please know, that as long as you're asking God to direct your steps and relaying His love to others, that your life is as meaningful and worthy as Mother Teresa's was, as Nelson Mandella's is...you are worthy and about your Fathers business. Live without question, but with servitude.

Father,
I ask You, Lord, to forgive me of any sins I am harboring this morning. I thank You for the love You have for me, to see what I'm about, even though I'm still questioning it. It's like the bridge questioning if it's doing it's job by standing still, while it's being used for the purpose it was created for. I will not waste time questioning, Lord, but I will use that time giving You thanks that I am an instrument created to walk in Love that others may know You.
I praise You. I pray Your blessing over all those who read this today. I pray that their hearts would be filled with the joy of Your love, that their spirits would be sensitive to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit and that they would know that they are loved by Love Itself.
In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, I ask these things, Amen.

Fall

2006-04-12T04:13:00.000-07:00

I look at death much differently than most people. I've been thought of as hard hearted when some of my favorite and most loved people have passed. Yes, I mourned...for me. My loss, not theirs. People ask how God can be so cruel as to take good people from us. I don't know if it's because I wasn't raised Christian, since I didn't come to Christ till my late 20's, but I don't deal with a lot of theological questions. However, the way I have thought of death since I did come into His love is that it's like that exercise where you have someone you trust stand behind you, and you fall backwards...knowing that person will catch you. I'm not afraid of death, because I know that God, the Creator of all things, my Father, will catch me in His open and welcoming arms.
Try to imagine someone that you, in your life, have loved more than life itself. Imagine not having been able to see, touch or hold that person for a painful amount of time. Imagine that reunion, the anticipation and the joy of coming together after having been apart for so long. Multiply that feeling times an infinite number and that is the way I imagine it will be when we are finally in our Fathers arms. Fear it? No. I long for it.

Father,
I come before You with an open heart this morning, asking You to see the depths of my heart and forgive me of any sins lurking there. I give my heart to You this morning and I ask that it be made pure.
Father, I rejoice in the knowledge that one day, I will be in Your loving arms and I will be at the only true home which You have created and designed with Your children in mind. I praise You with every breathe I take. I give this life to You, be it as it is. I thank You for those I can reach and I pray that their day will be filled with Your love, Your desire in their heart and Your joy in each step they take. Help us, Lord, to keep our eyes trained on you, our minds focused on Your destination for us, and our hearts filled with Your joy so that we may share it with others.
In the blessed name of my Lord, Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Couple of Birds

2006-04-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

I was walking outside today, taking out some trash. It's such a gorgeous day here, warm and sunny. Beautiful. As I start to walk back inside, I notice two large blackbirds walking across my sidewalk, side by side. Both have their heads up towards that warming sunshine. I'd watered my front yard this morning pretty good, and there had been a lot of birds out getting wet and later, looking for food. These two big birds just walked together, across my sidewalk, into the grass and hopped into the road together. They were so peaceful to watch. I just leaned on the hood of my car and watched them. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my back and I was enjoying this so much, don't ask me why, I just was. The birds took their time walking across the street, making one small circle in the middle of the road, then hopped the sidewalk across the street and into my neighbors yard. I was smiling watching them, watching the sun shine off the blackness of their feathers.
I hear someone in the background ask "What'cha doing?". I was so focused on the birds, I didn't notice anyone else around me. My next door neighbor had been watching me, watch the birds. I just laughed and told her that I was bird watching and she said 'but those are just old blackbirds'.
I sort of felt sorry for her when she said that. I'd only spent a few minutes of my time watching them, but they gave me some pleasure...a joy inside just taking my time watching them enjoy the sun and each other. I suppose that's what is different in a lot of people and whether those people are happy or not. I'm truly grateful that I can appreciate the small things, that I find joy in simple pleasures and that I can look at something see the beauty within it rather than what is on the outside, what most of the world sees. "Just old blackbirds"? No, not to me.

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my sins and any trespasses I have committed against others. I pray, Lord, that I would always be able to see Your love in all things You've created. I pray that I would never become so spoiled by the world that I would not be able to see what You have done and what you have created. I believe in simple pleasures, I believe in simple joy and I believe that You are visible in all things if we'd but take the time to look.
I love you, Father, with all that I am, with all that You've created me to be.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Use Me

2006-04-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

My Great Aunt Lottie had given me a pair of sherbert dishes that her ancestors had brought over from Germany. She gave these to me long before she died, telling me (and writing it in a note to me that I treasure) that she didn't want me to just put these up on a shelf to look at, but she wanted me to use and enjoy them as she and her husband had. I've not used them nearly enough.
I started collecting Roseville and McCoy pottery years ago. The more expensive the piece, the less I'd use it. Most of them were for display only. Then, I began collecting native American pottery, and there isn't a single piece that I use, they're all display only.
Awhile ago I was reading an article that we are vessels of God's Holy Spirit. Of course, I know how loved we are by the Father. We are precious to Him, He paid a great price for us. We were very expensive for Him, and yet He paid that price. I know without a doubt that He treasures us and wants us safe and out of harms way, just as all fathers want for their children. However, we were created for a reason, we were created for His glory. We are vessels of His love.
This got me to thinking about all those empty 'vessels' I have bought over the years to set up on a shelf and be admired, but not used. I never want to be that kind of vessel. I want to be used, to be filled up time and time again. I understand that it will result in some wear and tear, but that will only make me more precious in my Fathers eyes. My pottery that sits on the shelves...will my kids appreciate them more when they are passed down to them because they remember them having their turns on a shelf, or because they remember using them while they grew up?
My Great Aunt Lottie was a smart (and very strong Christian) woman. She told me many years ago that something worthy was worth being used for the reason it was created. I want to be worthy, and I am so grateful that God finds me worth using. I don't want to spend my life sitting on the shelf of life. I want to be used over and over and over again. Let those cracks and chips that come with being used be a badge of my faithfulness and of my love for my Father.

Father,
I ask You to forgive me of my shortcomings, my errors and mistakes. I thank You for Your mercy and Your grace that covers me completely.
I thank You, Lord, for the opportunities you have blessed me with to be used by You, to do Your will and Your bidding. I can think of no greater honor than to be used by You. Forgive me for the years that I spent sitting on the worlds shelf, concerned only with my own value to myself. When I realized how empty that life was, I realized it was because I, myself, was empty. Asking You to fill me with Your Holy Spirit, Lord, was one of the most important moments in my life. You, being forever faithful, filled me to overflowing, and my life has never been the same. For that, Father, I thank You. You are an amazing Father, You are my God and all that I do, let me do it for You.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Prayers

2006-04-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of non Christian blogger friends...in life, not so much. Like minded and all that. I don't know why it's different in blogland. However, I find myself praying more for my blogland friends than my 'in life' friends. I don't know why. Perhaps because when we blog, we sometimes find it easier to open ourselves up emotionally. There is a veil of anonymity. In life, sometimes you have to reveal more than you want exposed when you're in need of prayer. I understand that. There are things I don't want to share about myself to my Mom-in-law, to some of my friends or even my husband. Thankfully, I can go directly to God, He already knows the worst, and loves me still. People are not so forgiving.
I think that is why in blogland we open ourselves up more. We don't see the look of a readers disapproval, we don't feel the cold of the readers back being turned on us. Therefore, with the freedom to express our thoughts and tell the secrets of our lives without being held accountable for them in 'real' life, we are more apt to open up. And, because of this, I have more of an idea where someone may be in need of prayer in their life. Health, loneliness, fear, regret...we lay it all out in blogland. God is able to use all things for the good of His Children, and when we seek His guidance, He is able to use us too.

Father,
Forgive me, Lord, for the mistakes I've made. I ask You to be in control of my life, to be the Head of my life, to be the Voice that I listen to and the Road that I travel. I thank You for each and every tool that enables us to lift one another up. I thank You, Father, for the hunger you've given me to help others, to meet the needs of others when I can, and to share Your love with others. This world was empty and cold for me, Father, before I asked You into my life. I pray that the chains that bind so many, the veil that blinds so many and the fear that imprisons so many would be removed and that Your love and Your light would be born within them. I pray that Your Spirit would set their spirits on fire, a Holy and Righteous fire that would give their life meaning, direction, hope and the ultimate joy. All these things I have found in You, Father.
In the Holy name of my Lord, Jesus Christ, I pray and give You thanks. Amen.

Your's, Mine and Ours

2006-03-30T03:47:00.000-08:00

I wonder why we feel jealousy instead of joy when we hear of friends (or strangers) receiving good things? Is it because we have a 'why not me' attitude? A long time ago, 10 years or so, I recognized this trait in a friend. Any time someone would be blessed, even in the smallest way, this friend would say things like "Must be nice" or "what did you do to deserve that?". Never saying they were happy for them or that it was wonderful for them. It's a very petty attitude. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Then, I started recognizing it in myself. I don't think I ever spoke the feelings out loud, but sometimes I know I'd be jealous, and thought those things. Is there any difference between thinking them and saying them? No. The Word tells us in Proverbs 23:7 ~ for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
It didn't happen overnight, but I changed my way of thinking. I can honestly say when friends or strangers are blessed that I am joyful for them...and I tell them so. I, in turn, am blessed. When I honestly feel that joy for them, I am sharing in that joy. That change in heart, that change in attitude, changed my life. I refuse to feel jealous of others blessings, it's not of God. I rejoice instead, and I can tell you with every fiber of this being, it's a much better place to be.

Father,
I thank You for the blessings of others. I thank You, Lord, that I can share in their joy as I share in their sorrow. I thank You, Lord, for removing that spirit of jealousy from me and for the strength it takes to rebuke it when it tries to find a place in me. You are my joy, and I do not need or desire the things of this world to give me a temporary joy. You are my eternal joy, I dwell in You. I thank You for my many blessings. You have not only given me the desires of my heart, but allowed me to walk in the joy of others as they are blessed. You are a mighty, loving Father and I take my pleasure in You. I ask that You would forgive me of my mistakes today. Show me Your way today. I pray that I will follow the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit in all that I do today. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Anger

2006-03-28T03:54:00.000-08:00

Last night I got angry at some news we received about my mom-in-law. She'd came to Dallas for a second opinion on her cancer, which had returned, hoping it would differ from the diagnosis she got back home in Lubbock. It didn't. They're recommending Hospice. I love Hospice, they were there for my dad at a critical time and made it more comfortable for him...and my sister and I. Yet, still I got angry.
My mom-in-law is such a sweet lady. She's smuggled bibles into China, made several trips to worship and study in Israel. Her life is and has always been one of a faithful servant. She told me last night that though she's rebuking the news (that's my girl!) she is walking in the sweetest peace. She told me I shouldn't be angry. I believe in righteous anger. Mark 11:15 tells us about Christ having a bit of a righteous fit when he overturned tables and chairs, throwing out those who defiled His Father's temple. We all deal differently.
After wanting and believing for children for so long, when we became pregnant with Casey I developed a cyst on my right ovary in my first trimester. It grew at an amazing rate and the doctors said I needed to have it removed, but wanted to try to wait until the end of the first trimester to give Casey a greater chance of surviving the surgery. I saw the cyst on the sonograms, I could feel it. They estimated it was the size of a large grapefruit, close to 10 pounds. I was reading Frank Perritti's 'This Present Darkness' (an excellent fictional read) and I will always be grateful for this book. I cursed that cyst, it was a lie. Isaiah 54:17 ~ No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper. Luke 1:37 ~ For with God nothing shall be impossible. Exodus 23:23 tells us to expect supernatural intervention. In Exodus 23:25 ~ I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. I would tell my doctors that the tests were lies and that God would prove it to them. The week before surgery to remove it, the cyst was estimated at weighing 15 lbs. The day before surgery, I was at the hospital for the last of the blood work and miscellaneous tests. They took the same tests over several times and several sonograms. They told me to go home, they needed to talk to contact my doctor. My doctor called us to say, though he couldn't explain it, the cyst was gone. Nothing of it remained, no evidence it had ever existed. I've had so many healings, I am a walking testimony. I know the power of God when you walk in Faith.
So why am I angry about my mom-in-laws news? Because I get angry at the devil, at his lies. I believe in righteous anger. I get loud when I come against sickness, when I bind and rebuke the lies of satan. I don't believe when Christ was ordering the money changers from the temple, throwing over table and chairs, that He did it with a whisper and a gentle touch. He was full of righteous anger.
With that said, I also give thanks for Gods faithfulness. I believe we are to recognize, identify and stand before our enemies (problems) and expect Gods supernatural intervention to go before us and cut them off! When we stand in faith, He will always cause us to triumph (II Cor. 1:24, 2:14).
My mom-in-law is walking in that supernatural peace that only God can give us. I stand with her in giving thanks not only for her healing, but for her...for the Good News she has shared all of her life. I give God thanks for bringing our lives together, and for the wonderful example of Love that she has been for me.

Father,
I thank You for Your many mercies. I thank You that You are forever faithful. I ask Your forgiveness for where I have fallen, and I thank You for always loving me regardless of my errors.
Father, I stand on Your Word, that through You, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. You've not given us any limitations Lord, as long as it is in Your will, and in accordance with Your Word, all things are possible to us. You, Lord, are Healing, You are Love, You are Light in this world of darkness. I choose to not walk in the shadows, Father, but to stand boldly with thanksgiving in Your Light.
I bind the lies of satan, his lies of sickness and disease. I speak Your truth over those lies. Your joy is our strength. I will fear not, for Thou are with me. You give us rest on every side. I walk in that peace, that joy and that rest today, Lord. I will not give satan another moment of my day, but I will rejoice in You.
In the blessed name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

If I could do things differently...

2006-03-27T07:12:00.000-08:00

"If I could do things differently...", it's a common saying. However, I wonder if we could change something, would we? Would I? I think of what I consider to be my biggest mistakes in my life. One would be drugs. But if I'd not done the drugs, and suffered many of the consequences from them, I'd not had been able to witness in the jail ministry. I'd not know first hand what they'd gone through, and been able to tell them without any doubt, that there is hope, that there is a Light at the end of their tunnel. I'd not be the witness that I am.
Another would be sex. All the partners that I'd had, and the health consequences I paid resulted in being unable to have children for over 15 years. But, had I not suffered that, had every specialist not finally given up telling us it was impossible, then the miracle of our getting pregnant and giving birth (not only once, but twice) would not be the witness that it is. Specialist use my case as an example that one should never give up, that miracles do happen. I'm able to witness to those who are low and down trodden, having years of trouble conceiving...Receiving one bad report after another.
All of my trials and conflicts that I have over come are a witness that God is faithful. Trials and conflicts do not define who we are, but how we handle them defines our character. They are a tool used to chisel this piece of clay into a vessel used for His glory.
So, when I'm asked what I would do differently, though in hindsight I may think of ways that would have made it easier for me, I have to say I'd do nothing differently. I am who God created me to be. I have lived out His plan for my life that was destined from the beginning of time. I am thankful for the trials and the conflicts. I am thankful that He has been, and will always be, faithful. And, I'm actually thankful for what I see being chiseled from this temporary earthly piece of clay.

Father,
I first ask for forgiveness for ever questioning Your plan for my life. There have been times when I wondered what I did to deserve misfortunes. I see now, sweet Father, that You were forming me, creating me to be the person that I was created to be from the beginning. That this person I am has been created for a purpose, and without the knowledge that I have obtained from living this life I have lived, I'd not be able to speak of the things I've needed to with those who needed to hear it.
You, the Creator of all things, know the value of all lessons. I submit myself to Your will, to Your wisdom, and to Your loving ways. To You alone, do I give my complete being Father, that Your will be done, and not my own.
For all things, I give You thanks and praise. To Your glory, Father, may my life be of service.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Others

2006-03-23T04:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget that I'm to 'lift' someone up. When I say that I'm to lift someone, I mean to speak to the Father on their behalf. To pray for them... When I realize I've forgotten to pray for someone, especially if I've told them I would, well, it's the lowest feeling. How simple is it to pray for someone? What was more important? What did I do instead of? Watch t.v., take a walk, read a book? It's not just for the person that I was to pray for, but it's that personal time with my Father, with the Creator of everything that I opted to give my time to instead of Him.

What if one of my boys friends needed a ride to somewhere we were going, and they told them they'd aske me if I'd take them...and they forgot. What if one of my neighbors were without food and I told them I'd go to the store for them...and I forgot. Is it any different? Is there anything more important than petitioning the Father on someone else's behalf? It's our nature to reach out to Him when we are in need, when we are in despair. It's in His nature that we do it when it's someone else in need and despair. It's in our nature to taste of that forbidden fruit (Eve), it's our nature to be jealous of others success (Saul), it's our nature to covet, to desire what's precious to someone else (David). Thankfully, it's in His nature to forgive, to know our potential and to love us in spite of our own nature. I think of our nature as being the shadow that follows the Sun. Follow the Sun, or follow the shadow?

Father,
I come to you with a heavy heart. I, first, give those burdens to you, Lord. They are too heavy for me. I know they are of my making, but by Your grace, I am able to lay them at the feet of my Lord Jesus, and for this I give You thanks. With my lightened load, Lord, I bow before You. I ask You to forgive me of my selfishness, for putting myself before others and for putting the desires of my heart before the needs of others.
Father, I lift up to you those who have been stricken with satan's lies. I ask you, Lord, that Your healing would be an action in the lives of the many I lift up to You this day. I pray for those that are inflicted with cancer this morning, I don't need to mention their names, Father, as you know my heart and You know their needs. I pray that they would find a peace today that will surround them as they go about their day. I bind the fear that satan puts in their way and I cast him from their walk today. Lord, healing is not only a gift, but a right given to us as Your children. I thank you for it, I thank you for the good reports of others today and as always, I thank You for Your faithfulness. I love you God, You are my heart. In Jesus name, Amen.

Fear Not

2006-03-21T07:06:00.000-08:00

Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name: thou art mine.
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shall not be burned: neither shall the flame kindle upon thee,
For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy savior:

Isaiah 43:1-3

Father, I am so thankful that You are a forever constant in my life. Of all the things that may come and go in my life, You will remain constant. Your love will never fail me, You will never leave me...and I know that it is all unconditional. I don't understand it, it reaches beyond my comprehension. But of all the things that I am thankful for, You are the foundation of them all.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I thank You. Amen.

We Are Loved & We Are Wanted

2006-03-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's human to feel unwanted and unloved sometimes. Some of us are taught to feel this way by parents that didn't love themselves. Some feel this way because of a spouse that doesn't know how to show love or appreciation. Some may feel this way because they feel forgotten by their children or friends. It's human nature to feel and draw conclusions from those feelings.

I came from a home where my mother was ill, and though, now, I'm sure she loved me, growing up it didn't seem that way. When she was hurting (mentally, emotionally and physically) she'd tell me that she hated me, that I'd ruined her life by being born. That sort of thing. My dad didn't come around much, and my sister and I didn't turn to each other, but against each other instead. So, I think we both felt pretty much alone.
When I married (my first marriage), my husband and I were heavy into drugs and alcohol. We didn't know how to love each other. I'd never known what it was like to really show or receive love to begin with, so I didn't know what to show him even when I did feel love for him.

When I was 26 I accepted Christ while I was all alone in the middle of the night. It's a great testimony, but not the subject of this post. When I asked God to prove Himself to me, He did. When I asked Christ into my heart that night, I changed. It was a change that I felt from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I cried, because I didn't know what to do. It was the first time I'd ever felt real Love, and it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me.
From that day on, I've felt loved and I've been able to love. That's not the only thing that changed, my sight changed, my life changed completely. But, I'm talking about love now. Real love, His love.
Did God love me for the first time when I gave my life to Him? No, He's loved me since before Genesis 1:1. I've always been in His heart. I just couldn't accept it until I opened myself up to Him, until I invited Him into my life, into my heart. I have always been loved, I have always been wanted. This, is what I pray for the world to know.

Father,
I thank you for this day. I thank you that I have children to love, a husband to love and appreciate. I know with every fiber of my being that I wouldn't be able to appreciate these precious gifts You've given me without having You in my life. Without You, without Your Holy Spirit filling this body, mind, heart and soul, I'd be living in despair, which I knew for so many years. I pray, Lord, that I would share Your love with everyone I meet today. I pray that anyone who may read this post today, anyone who I may talk to personally, anyone whose path I cross this day in any way, will be touched by Your love. Because I know, Father, that Your love is life changing, it gives light to those lost in darkness and hope to those in despair.
I love you with all that I am. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Forgive, Forget and Love In Spite Of.

2006-03-14T06:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's really hard to be nice to people. Sometimes you meet someone that you just don't like. Maybe it's their language, maybe it's their humor, maybe it's the job they have. For whatever reason, sometimes we don't like people we meet. And...that's okay. But, I believe, that we're to always love them.
Liking someone and loving someone are two completely diffeent things. Two completely different feelings. We were never commanded to like someone, to be their buddy. We were commanded, however, to love one another. We're to pray for one another. We're to do unto others as we'd have done unto ourselves.
I have found one thing to be true. I have found that the more I pray for a person, the more I appreciate them.
An example: I had a good friend a few years ago that I did a lot with. She lives on the same block as I do, our kids were always together, we spent a lot of time together. One day, I was told by a 'well meaning friend' that this good friend of mine had been talking about me, saying very hostile and untrue things about me. I was crushed. For a few days I told this friend that I just couldn't talk to her and that when I could, I'd call her. After a few days, I called her. She couldn't deny what she'd said, she was very embarassed for having been caught in this web. Though I still loved her, I couldn't continue to spend time with her. I prayed for her daily and still do. When I pass her driving, I wave. When we run into each other I always smile and say hello. I hold nothing against this person, but I chose not to continue spending time with her. I have peace about how I handled this. My friend, however, will not wave or speak to me. This is her choice. We've taken very different roads in the years we've distanced ourselves. Our children have turned out very differently. I can see, now, that it was something that was inevitable. It was a hard lesson to learn. I could have chosen to react in a hostile manner, to have confronted her immediately without prayer. I could have chosen to judge her, to speak ill of her rather than to have continued to love her. Granted...I'll be very up front and say that I don't like this person very much. Our lifestyles have turned out very differently, as have our ways of parenting. But after all these years, my kids have never heard me say a bad thing about this person, they see me always being friendly to her and have heard me offer to help her when she has needed it. It's not because I 'like' her, but I choose to follow God's command to love her and to 'do unto her as I'd have her do unto me'.

Father,
I thank you, Lord, for the people you have brought into my life who have overlooked my shortcomings and have loved me in spite of them. I thank you for the people who prayed for me, who lifted my name up to You when I turned my back on You, when I followed after my own lusts instead of following You. Because of Your love that they showed me, I have come to know You and the love You have for me. I pray, Father, that I may be able to repay the kindness that was shown to me by showing it to others. Being a vehicle of Your love is the greatest desire of my heart.
I pray that I will be a blessing to those I meet today. I ask that I be sensitive to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit. I pray that you would bless any one that may come across this prayer today and that they would know the wonder of Your love. I ask you to forgive me of my shortcomings, Lord, and thank You that You see me for what I have the potential of being.
In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

His Road For Us

2006-03-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

A new day. All things are new in You, Father. The problems that I face may be the same, but the way that I face them are new in You. You give me the choice of swimming in the same stagnated pool of defeat, or to dry myself off and stand in Your light of hope and victory. You give me that choice. I choose Your way today, Father. I choose to walk and live in HOPE, in PROMISE, and in JOY. Today I choose Your way.

Father,
With all my heart, I choose Your plan for me. I know it's my choice. I can choose my way or Your way. I've seen first hand what my way gets me, Lord. I've seen what Your way gets me, as well. Forgive me for the times I fall back to the old me, trying to decide my own way, depending on myself to make a path to walk on. Without you, Father, I am not only blind, but without any sense of direction. I will always find myself back at my original starting point...lost and in need of Your direction, Your assistance. I am so grateful that You are a God of second chances...and in my case, Father, many, many chances.
I give this day to You. I give every choice I make, every word I speak to You. I ask You, Father, that I be sensitive to the leading of Your Holy Spirit this day. I pray that I will be sensitive to Your spirit within me, and that I will hear Your voice over my own. I thank you for my family, for anyone who may come upon this prayer today, and for all those whose life I enter today. You, alone, are worthy of all praise and glory. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen

Welcome

2006-03-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

There couldn't possibly be anything more that I have ever wanted to do than this. I didn't know that it would ever be in the form of a 'blog', but any vehicle given to me is a blessing. I have been given a life that surpasses anything I deserve to have. This is by the grace of God, by His Son, Jesus Christ, and by His Holy Spirit. If I spent every second of every hour of every day for the rest of my life giving God thanks, it couldn't possibly begin to be enough to express my gratitude for what He's given me. But, that's not what I believe God wants anyway. He wants my thanks, yes...but more, He desires my love, my praise and my living my life to His glory.

This is the reason that I am beginning a new blog sharing a daily devotional with my Father, and giving the many reasons I have to be thankful wings to fly, so that they may be a witness, an encouragement and a testimony to anyone they may be led to.

I welcome any and every one who is led to this blog. It's my prayer that Gods Holy Spirit will bless you.

Father,
I thank You for those who are led to this blog today. I pray that their hearts will be open to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit. I ask You, sweet Father, that their needs will be met, that their hearts will rejoice in Your Spirit and that they will know Your joy today.
I ask these things in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.