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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

We Are Loved & We Are Wanted

It's human to feel unwanted and unloved sometimes. Some of us are taught to feel this way by parents that didn't love themselves. Some feel this way because of a spouse that doesn't know how to show love or appreciation. Some may feel this way because they feel forgotten by their children or friends. It's human nature to feel and draw conclusions from those feelings.

I came from a home where my mother was ill, and though, now, I'm sure she loved me, growing up it didn't seem that way. When she was hurting (mentally, emotionally and physically) she'd tell me that she hated me, that I'd ruined her life by being born. That sort of thing. My dad didn't come around much, and my sister and I didn't turn to each other, but against each other instead. So, I think we both felt pretty much alone.
When I married (my first marriage), my husband and I were heavy into drugs and alcohol. We didn't know how to love each other. I'd never known what it was like to really show or receive love to begin with, so I didn't know what to show him even when I did feel love for him.

When I was 26 I accepted Christ while I was all alone in the middle of the night. It's a great testimony, but not the subject of this post. When I asked God to prove Himself to me, He did. When I asked Christ into my heart that night, I changed. It was a change that I felt from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I cried, because I didn't know what to do. It was the first time I'd ever felt real Love, and it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me.
From that day on, I've felt loved and I've been able to love. That's not the only thing that changed, my sight changed, my life changed completely. But, I'm talking about love now. Real love, His love.
Did God love me for the first time when I gave my life to Him? No, He's loved me since before Genesis 1:1. I've always been in His heart. I just couldn't accept it until I opened myself up to Him, until I invited Him into my life, into my heart. I have always been loved, I have always been wanted. This, is what I pray for the world to know.

I thank you for this day. I thank you that I have children to love, a husband to love and appreciate. I know with every fiber of my being that I wouldn't be able to appreciate these precious gifts You've given me without having You in my life. Without You, without Your Holy Spirit filling this body, mind, heart and soul, I'd be living in despair, which I knew for so many years. I pray, Lord, that I would share Your love with everyone I meet today. I pray that anyone who may read this post today, anyone who I may talk to personally, anyone whose path I cross this day in any way, will be touched by Your love. Because I know, Father, that Your love is life changing, it gives light to those lost in darkness and hope to those in despair.
I love you with all that I am. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.