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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Trust Issues

I have many things going on in my life right now. My husband left us 5 months ago. This is our first Christmas without him and his family. We went from having a large extended family to it being the three of us, my two boys and myself. I haven't found a full time job yet and our finances, checking account is filled with more faith than money. And, of course, there's Christmas and my children...a combination that along with my checking account could add up to a lot of stress and anxiety.
Last night I took a short walk outside. I was feeling stressed. Sometimes you may be under attack without any signs of being physically wounded, but being spiritually wounded is harder to bare. As I walked, and I considered my attacks, I looked towards the heavens and felt peace begin to over take me. How small I am. Still, though small, I still exist, and as I took my eyes from the heavens back to my world, words rang through me loud and clear...TRUST ME. Trust Him. I trust Him with my death, how in the world could I not trust Him with my life?? I do.
God has been since the beginning of time. He created all that is. Could my life be too much for Him? No. My life fits into the grand scheme of all His plans. Everything I go through is for a purpose. The way I handle it is up to me, the battle, however, is His. My life opens a door for many, just as many before me created a way for me. My life will be an example. It is up to me whether it will be a good or a bad one.
I can think of many ways I have used my life as an example of what not to do for my children...the drugs, the alcohol I did years ago...I'm able to tell my children what I allowed those things to rob me of; friends, education, even family. Now, I want to show by example what God, and my faith in Him, can achieve, when I allow it. TRUST HIM. By example, it's the best thing in all my life that I can teach my children. TRUST HIM.

We are not born with trust issues, we learn them. Help me, Lord, to trust You with all that I am, with all that I have, and with all that I will ever be. I give to You my heart, my children, my finances, and my trust. You, alone, do I trust. I love You, Father.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.