In His hands.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding.

Sometimes my mind will race, my emotions will take on a life of their own and I feel like I am completely out of control. What this is, though, is my trying to be in control. When I take the rein (or reign...they both fit here) away from Him and try to figure it out on my own. I'm on a sheet of ice going a hundred miles an hour without Him...I can't stop, I can't direct my course, I'm out of control.

It's human to want to be in control. I'm human...but I'm also comprised of His Holy Spirit. There is a battle constantly going on for who I am, what I am and who I will be; and that...I am in control of. I choose, freely, to relinquish control...because frankly, I'm not good at it. My ego isn't so big as to say 'I can do it on my own'. My pride isn't so enormous that I mind sitting in the passenger seat when God is driving. He can drive, I'll happily sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride knowing without a doubt that He knows the road. I'll roll down my window, feel the air on my face and breathe deeply. My soul will rest and enjoy the journey. When I allow it, of course, because choosing to be the passenger instead of the driver in my life is about the only thing I can control.

Father, the only thing that I'm sure of in this life is that I have no control. The world may humor me, lure me in by teasing me with worldly pleasures, but they are fleeting and I shame myself when I'm taken in. My todays, my tomorrows and my eternity is safe only in Your hands. And, in Your hands is where I choose to stay.
In the name of Your Son and my Savior, Christ Jesus, Amen.

Thankful.

The thing about giving is that if it's not done without any strings, without any obligations, even without the need to be thanked for the gift given, it's not giving...it's bargaining. May be bargaining for someone's love, for appreciation...for a future gift in return, but a true gift is something given without any expectation to be repaid or to even be thanked. Yet, we all know who is thankful for what we've given them, and who is not. It's only human nature to want to be appreciated. We remember who has called to say thank you, who has written a thank you note and who hasn't. After not being thanked several times, we may reconsider what we give to those who are not appreciative.

Thankfully, it may be human nature, but it's not our Father's nature. I was recently thinking about how much I'm thankful for, and I realized that the things I list when thanking Him must only be a drop in the bucket (an enormous bucket) of all the things He's actually done for me. I stopped to think about how many, many, blessings I've received and taken for granted, having never stopped to say "Thank You, Father, Thank you!" How many times He's helped me, lifted me up, kept me from harm, and all without my having been aware. If I were to spend the rest of my life on my knees giving thanks, it wouldn't be enough.

I'm reminded of the story of the 10 lepers Christ healed and only one took the time to thank Him. Did Jesus not know that the other nine would fail to thank Him? That's not possible, He knows everything. He knew, and yet He healed them all. What was the difference between the nine that walked on and the one that turned back to honor Jesus and praise Him for his healing? A thankful heart.

Father, for the blessings I'm aware of and those I'm not, I thank You. For loving me even when I couldn't love myself, thank You. For the day that I will run into Your open arms, thank You. Father, if I have nothing else, I pray I will always have a thankful heart. Amen.