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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Your's, Mine and Ours

I wonder why we feel jealousy instead of joy when we hear of friends (or strangers) receiving good things? Is it because we have a 'why not me' attitude? A long time ago, 10 years or so, I recognized this trait in a friend. Any time someone would be blessed, even in the smallest way, this friend would say things like "Must be nice" or "what did you do to deserve that?". Never saying they were happy for them or that it was wonderful for them. It's a very petty attitude. It was like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Then, I started recognizing it in myself. I don't think I ever spoke the feelings out loud, but sometimes I know I'd be jealous, and thought those things. Is there any difference between thinking them and saying them? No. The Word tells us in Proverbs 23:7 ~ for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
It didn't happen overnight, but I changed my way of thinking. I can honestly say when friends or strangers are blessed that I am joyful for them...and I tell them so. I, in turn, am blessed. When I honestly feel that joy for them, I am sharing in that joy. That change in heart, that change in attitude, changed my life. I refuse to feel jealous of others blessings, it's not of God. I rejoice instead, and I can tell you with every fiber of this being, it's a much better place to be.

I thank You for the blessings of others. I thank You, Lord, that I can share in their joy as I share in their sorrow. I thank You, Lord, for removing that spirit of jealousy from me and for the strength it takes to rebuke it when it tries to find a place in me. You are my joy, and I do not need or desire the things of this world to give me a temporary joy. You are my eternal joy, I dwell in You. I thank You for my many blessings. You have not only given me the desires of my heart, but allowed me to walk in the joy of others as they are blessed. You are a mighty, loving Father and I take my pleasure in You. I ask that You would forgive me of my mistakes today. Show me Your way today. I pray that I will follow the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit in all that I do today. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Last night I got angry at some news we received about my mom-in-law. She'd came to Dallas for a second opinion on her cancer, which had returned, hoping it would differ from the diagnosis she got back home in Lubbock. It didn't. They're recommending Hospice. I love Hospice, they were there for my dad at a critical time and made it more comfortable for him...and my sister and I. Yet, still I got angry.
My mom-in-law is such a sweet lady. She's smuggled bibles into China, made several trips to worship and study in Israel. Her life is and has always been one of a faithful servant. She told me last night that though she's rebuking the news (that's my girl!) she is walking in the sweetest peace. She told me I shouldn't be angry. I believe in righteous anger. Mark 11:15 tells us about Christ having a bit of a righteous fit when he overturned tables and chairs, throwing out those who defiled His Father's temple. We all deal differently.
After wanting and believing for children for so long, when we became pregnant with Casey I developed a cyst on my right ovary in my first trimester. It grew at an amazing rate and the doctors said I needed to have it removed, but wanted to try to wait until the end of the first trimester to give Casey a greater chance of surviving the surgery. I saw the cyst on the sonograms, I could feel it. They estimated it was the size of a large grapefruit, close to 10 pounds. I was reading Frank Perritti's 'This Present Darkness' (an excellent fictional read) and I will always be grateful for this book. I cursed that cyst, it was a lie. Isaiah 54:17 ~ No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper. Luke 1:37 ~ For with God nothing shall be impossible. Exodus 23:23 tells us to expect supernatural intervention. In Exodus 23:25 ~ I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. I would tell my doctors that the tests were lies and that God would prove it to them. The week before surgery to remove it, the cyst was estimated at weighing 15 lbs. The day before surgery, I was at the hospital for the last of the blood work and miscellaneous tests. They took the same tests over several times and several sonograms. They told me to go home, they needed to talk to contact my doctor. My doctor called us to say, though he couldn't explain it, the cyst was gone. Nothing of it remained, no evidence it had ever existed. I've had so many healings, I am a walking testimony. I know the power of God when you walk in Faith.
So why am I angry about my mom-in-laws news? Because I get angry at the devil, at his lies. I believe in righteous anger. I get loud when I come against sickness, when I bind and rebuke the lies of satan. I don't believe when Christ was ordering the money changers from the temple, throwing over table and chairs, that He did it with a whisper and a gentle touch. He was full of righteous anger.
With that said, I also give thanks for Gods faithfulness. I believe we are to recognize, identify and stand before our enemies (problems) and expect Gods supernatural intervention to go before us and cut them off! When we stand in faith, He will always cause us to triumph (II Cor. 1:24, 2:14).
My mom-in-law is walking in that supernatural peace that only God can give us. I stand with her in giving thanks not only for her healing, but for her...for the Good News she has shared all of her life. I give God thanks for bringing our lives together, and for the wonderful example of Love that she has been for me.

I thank You for Your many mercies. I thank You that You are forever faithful. I ask Your forgiveness for where I have fallen, and I thank You for always loving me regardless of my errors.
Father, I stand on Your Word, that through You, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. You've not given us any limitations Lord, as long as it is in Your will, and in accordance with Your Word, all things are possible to us. You, Lord, are Healing, You are Love, You are Light in this world of darkness. I choose to not walk in the shadows, Father, but to stand boldly with thanksgiving in Your Light.
I bind the lies of satan, his lies of sickness and disease. I speak Your truth over those lies. Your joy is our strength. I will fear not, for Thou are with me. You give us rest on every side. I walk in that peace, that joy and that rest today, Lord. I will not give satan another moment of my day, but I will rejoice in You.
In the blessed name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Monday, March 27, 2006

If I could do things differently...

"If I could do things differently...", it's a common saying. However, I wonder if we could change something, would we? Would I? I think of what I consider to be my biggest mistakes in my life. One would be drugs. But if I'd not done the drugs, and suffered many of the consequences from them, I'd not had been able to witness in the jail ministry. I'd not know first hand what they'd gone through, and been able to tell them without any doubt, that there is hope, that there is a Light at the end of their tunnel. I'd not be the witness that I am.
Another would be sex. All the partners that I'd had, and the health consequences I paid resulted in being unable to have children for over 15 years. But, had I not suffered that, had every specialist not finally given up telling us it was impossible, then the miracle of our getting pregnant and giving birth (not only once, but twice) would not be the witness that it is. Specialist use my case as an example that one should never give up, that miracles do happen. I'm able to witness to those who are low and down trodden, having years of trouble conceiving...Receiving one bad report after another.
All of my trials and conflicts that I have over come are a witness that God is faithful. Trials and conflicts do not define who we are, but how we handle them defines our character. They are a tool used to chisel this piece of clay into a vessel used for His glory.
So, when I'm asked what I would do differently, though in hindsight I may think of ways that would have made it easier for me, I have to say I'd do nothing differently. I am who God created me to be. I have lived out His plan for my life that was destined from the beginning of time. I am thankful for the trials and the conflicts. I am thankful that He has been, and will always be, faithful. And, I'm actually thankful for what I see being chiseled from this temporary earthly piece of clay.

I first ask for forgiveness for ever questioning Your plan for my life. There have been times when I wondered what I did to deserve misfortunes. I see now, sweet Father, that You were forming me, creating me to be the person that I was created to be from the beginning. That this person I am has been created for a purpose, and without the knowledge that I have obtained from living this life I have lived, I'd not be able to speak of the things I've needed to with those who needed to hear it.
You, the Creator of all things, know the value of all lessons. I submit myself to Your will, to Your wisdom, and to Your loving ways. To You alone, do I give my complete being Father, that Your will be done, and not my own.
For all things, I give You thanks and praise. To Your glory, Father, may my life be of service.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Sometimes I forget that I'm to 'lift' someone up. When I say that I'm to lift someone, I mean to speak to the Father on their behalf. To pray for them... When I realize I've forgotten to pray for someone, especially if I've told them I would, well, it's the lowest feeling. How simple is it to pray for someone? What was more important? What did I do instead of? Watch t.v., take a walk, read a book? It's not just for the person that I was to pray for, but it's that personal time with my Father, with the Creator of everything that I opted to give my time to instead of Him.

What if one of my boys friends needed a ride to somewhere we were going, and they told them they'd aske me if I'd take them...and they forgot. What if one of my neighbors were without food and I told them I'd go to the store for them...and I forgot. Is it any different? Is there anything more important than petitioning the Father on someone else's behalf? It's our nature to reach out to Him when we are in need, when we are in despair. It's in His nature that we do it when it's someone else in need and despair. It's in our nature to taste of that forbidden fruit (Eve), it's our nature to be jealous of others success (Saul), it's our nature to covet, to desire what's precious to someone else (David). Thankfully, it's in His nature to forgive, to know our potential and to love us in spite of our own nature. I think of our nature as being the shadow that follows the Sun. Follow the Sun, or follow the shadow?

I come to you with a heavy heart. I, first, give those burdens to you, Lord. They are too heavy for me. I know they are of my making, but by Your grace, I am able to lay them at the feet of my Lord Jesus, and for this I give You thanks. With my lightened load, Lord, I bow before You. I ask You to forgive me of my selfishness, for putting myself before others and for putting the desires of my heart before the needs of others.
Father, I lift up to you those who have been stricken with satan's lies. I ask you, Lord, that Your healing would be an action in the lives of the many I lift up to You this day. I pray for those that are inflicted with cancer this morning, I don't need to mention their names, Father, as you know my heart and You know their needs. I pray that they would find a peace today that will surround them as they go about their day. I bind the fear that satan puts in their way and I cast him from their walk today. Lord, healing is not only a gift, but a right given to us as Your children. I thank you for it, I thank you for the good reports of others today and as always, I thank You for Your faithfulness. I love you God, You are my heart. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Fear Not

Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name: thou art mine.
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shall not be burned: neither shall the flame kindle upon thee,
For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy savior:

Isaiah 43:1-3

Father, I am so thankful that You are a forever constant in my life. Of all the things that may come and go in my life, You will remain constant. Your love will never fail me, You will never leave me...and I know that it is all unconditional. I don't understand it, it reaches beyond my comprehension. But of all the things that I am thankful for, You are the foundation of them all.
In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I thank You. Amen.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

We Are Loved & We Are Wanted

It's human to feel unwanted and unloved sometimes. Some of us are taught to feel this way by parents that didn't love themselves. Some feel this way because of a spouse that doesn't know how to show love or appreciation. Some may feel this way because they feel forgotten by their children or friends. It's human nature to feel and draw conclusions from those feelings.

I came from a home where my mother was ill, and though, now, I'm sure she loved me, growing up it didn't seem that way. When she was hurting (mentally, emotionally and physically) she'd tell me that she hated me, that I'd ruined her life by being born. That sort of thing. My dad didn't come around much, and my sister and I didn't turn to each other, but against each other instead. So, I think we both felt pretty much alone.
When I married (my first marriage), my husband and I were heavy into drugs and alcohol. We didn't know how to love each other. I'd never known what it was like to really show or receive love to begin with, so I didn't know what to show him even when I did feel love for him.

When I was 26 I accepted Christ while I was all alone in the middle of the night. It's a great testimony, but not the subject of this post. When I asked God to prove Himself to me, He did. When I asked Christ into my heart that night, I changed. It was a change that I felt from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I cried, because I didn't know what to do. It was the first time I'd ever felt real Love, and it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me.
From that day on, I've felt loved and I've been able to love. That's not the only thing that changed, my sight changed, my life changed completely. But, I'm talking about love now. Real love, His love.
Did God love me for the first time when I gave my life to Him? No, He's loved me since before Genesis 1:1. I've always been in His heart. I just couldn't accept it until I opened myself up to Him, until I invited Him into my life, into my heart. I have always been loved, I have always been wanted. This, is what I pray for the world to know.

I thank you for this day. I thank you that I have children to love, a husband to love and appreciate. I know with every fiber of my being that I wouldn't be able to appreciate these precious gifts You've given me without having You in my life. Without You, without Your Holy Spirit filling this body, mind, heart and soul, I'd be living in despair, which I knew for so many years. I pray, Lord, that I would share Your love with everyone I meet today. I pray that anyone who may read this post today, anyone who I may talk to personally, anyone whose path I cross this day in any way, will be touched by Your love. Because I know, Father, that Your love is life changing, it gives light to those lost in darkness and hope to those in despair.
I love you with all that I am. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Forgive, Forget and Love In Spite Of.

Sometimes it's really hard to be nice to people. Sometimes you meet someone that you just don't like. Maybe it's their language, maybe it's their humor, maybe it's the job they have. For whatever reason, sometimes we don't like people we meet. And...that's okay. But, I believe, that we're to always love them.
Liking someone and loving someone are two completely diffeent things. Two completely different feelings. We were never commanded to like someone, to be their buddy. We were commanded, however, to love one another. We're to pray for one another. We're to do unto others as we'd have done unto ourselves.
I have found one thing to be true. I have found that the more I pray for a person, the more I appreciate them.
An example: I had a good friend a few years ago that I did a lot with. She lives on the same block as I do, our kids were always together, we spent a lot of time together. One day, I was told by a 'well meaning friend' that this good friend of mine had been talking about me, saying very hostile and untrue things about me. I was crushed. For a few days I told this friend that I just couldn't talk to her and that when I could, I'd call her. After a few days, I called her. She couldn't deny what she'd said, she was very embarassed for having been caught in this web. Though I still loved her, I couldn't continue to spend time with her. I prayed for her daily and still do. When I pass her driving, I wave. When we run into each other I always smile and say hello. I hold nothing against this person, but I chose not to continue spending time with her. I have peace about how I handled this. My friend, however, will not wave or speak to me. This is her choice. We've taken very different roads in the years we've distanced ourselves. Our children have turned out very differently. I can see, now, that it was something that was inevitable. It was a hard lesson to learn. I could have chosen to react in a hostile manner, to have confronted her immediately without prayer. I could have chosen to judge her, to speak ill of her rather than to have continued to love her. Granted...I'll be very up front and say that I don't like this person very much. Our lifestyles have turned out very differently, as have our ways of parenting. But after all these years, my kids have never heard me say a bad thing about this person, they see me always being friendly to her and have heard me offer to help her when she has needed it. It's not because I 'like' her, but I choose to follow God's command to love her and to 'do unto her as I'd have her do unto me'.

I thank you, Lord, for the people you have brought into my life who have overlooked my shortcomings and have loved me in spite of them. I thank you for the people who prayed for me, who lifted my name up to You when I turned my back on You, when I followed after my own lusts instead of following You. Because of Your love that they showed me, I have come to know You and the love You have for me. I pray, Father, that I may be able to repay the kindness that was shown to me by showing it to others. Being a vehicle of Your love is the greatest desire of my heart.
I pray that I will be a blessing to those I meet today. I ask that I be sensitive to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit. I pray that you would bless any one that may come across this prayer today and that they would know the wonder of Your love. I ask you to forgive me of my shortcomings, Lord, and thank You that You see me for what I have the potential of being.
In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Monday, March 13, 2006

His Road For Us

A new day. All things are new in You, Father. The problems that I face may be the same, but the way that I face them are new in You. You give me the choice of swimming in the same stagnated pool of defeat, or to dry myself off and stand in Your light of hope and victory. You give me that choice. I choose Your way today, Father. I choose to walk and live in HOPE, in PROMISE, and in JOY. Today I choose Your way.

With all my heart, I choose Your plan for me. I know it's my choice. I can choose my way or Your way. I've seen first hand what my way gets me, Lord. I've seen what Your way gets me, as well. Forgive me for the times I fall back to the old me, trying to decide my own way, depending on myself to make a path to walk on. Without you, Father, I am not only blind, but without any sense of direction. I will always find myself back at my original starting point...lost and in need of Your direction, Your assistance. I am so grateful that You are a God of second chances...and in my case, Father, many, many chances.
I give this day to You. I give every choice I make, every word I speak to You. I ask You, Father, that I be sensitive to the leading of Your Holy Spirit this day. I pray that I will be sensitive to Your spirit within me, and that I will hear Your voice over my own. I thank you for my family, for anyone who may come upon this prayer today, and for all those whose life I enter today. You, alone, are worthy of all praise and glory. In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen

Sunday, March 12, 2006


There couldn't possibly be anything more that I have ever wanted to do than this. I didn't know that it would ever be in the form of a 'blog', but any vehicle given to me is a blessing. I have been given a life that surpasses anything I deserve to have. This is by the grace of God, by His Son, Jesus Christ, and by His Holy Spirit. If I spent every second of every hour of every day for the rest of my life giving God thanks, it couldn't possibly begin to be enough to express my gratitude for what He's given me. But, that's not what I believe God wants anyway. He wants my thanks, yes...but more, He desires my love, my praise and my living my life to His glory.

This is the reason that I am beginning a new blog sharing a daily devotional with my Father, and giving the many reasons I have to be thankful wings to fly, so that they may be a witness, an encouragement and a testimony to anyone they may be led to.

I welcome any and every one who is led to this blog. It's my prayer that Gods Holy Spirit will bless you.

I thank You for those who are led to this blog today. I pray that their hearts will be open to the leading and guiding of Your Holy Spirit. I ask You, sweet Father, that their needs will be met, that their hearts will rejoice in Your Spirit and that they will know Your joy today.
I ask these things in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.